Poem: Life
Waves to be traversed Old bones to be unearthed It goes on forever Why do you hate me You haven't even begun to see It goes on forever New wars beginning Old friendships ending It goes on forever Why have I been damned I came into this, turns out I've been scammed It never ends We live to die, we die to live again But where did it begin? It never ends Just stop talking you're annoying Maybe be observant and take in everything It never ends It goes on forever but there was no beginning It never ends but it never started Nothing but a game, we all think we're winning An empty vessel, we're all weak hearted I'm done with this strife, the overhanging knife, the never ending fife's (lies). I'm done with this stressful, disrespectful, unending life. I will be posting poems randomly I hope you guys enjoy. Tag people you think would like it!
@Whitemonsterbunny17 @Safa102 @party_girl @AloneS @cc_peach @rebeccaxhawaii @Hayhayz @Electric_Blue
Nice!
nice i luv it :3 @Comrad
@myah @BellaBlueBird @escamer
@skatergirl147
@Charles.305
nice!! <3
Thank you, thank you all!
anytime babe
That was deep. I like..
I try. Thanks @Hayhayz !!
mah bad kayla. i unfanned a bunch of people. must've unfanned u on accident.
It's Okay
@comrad do you think you can help me with physics or anyone else please
tag me... do u like the poem? :p
yes lol =p
Nice job!!!!
I love it!(:
@trinitybromirski
Wow @Comrad Love it. It's beautiful :)
Thanks @trinitybromirski @Anaise
You're welcome
@Serenity74
@RhondaSommer
@Comrad Your poem is amazing! ^^ I really enjoyed reading it. I'm gonna check out your other ones, if you don't mind. xD
do you want feedback? or a good job? (there is a difference)
Constructive feedback. :)
okay so;p notice how the first two stanzas have 9 lines? you wanna keep every stanza similar in stucture UNLESS you are trying to emphasize something
mhm... what about my other poem?
so instead of It goes on forever but there was no beginning It never ends but it never started Nothing but a game, we all think we're winning An empty vessel, we're all weak hearted I'm done with this strife, the overhanging knife, the never ending fife's (lies). I'm done with this stressful, disrespectful, unending life.
try It goes on forever but there was no beginning It never ends but it never started Nothing but a game we all think we're winning An empty vessel, we're all weak hearted its never full? (idk just an idea) I'm done with this strife the overhanging knife the never ending fife's (lies). I'm done with this stressful disrespectful\ unending life. im done
just because of sturcture
I totally understand what you're staying BUUUT, what if I don't want to write poetry based on the rules. I find poetry as freeing and un-restricting and it's really hard to write down un solicited ideas in a restricted format. I could've easily done what you just did above and I thank you for your criticism because it was really thoughtful and helpful, however, I like to stick to my own writing style.
thats called a free verse and you're alllllreeeeady ryming
Rhyme just happens and idek why lol. It's like I want to rhyme but in a free verse format.
and you cant call it a poem then. becuase poems are all about analysis and structure. free verse is what you did here and that was good. HOWEVER; you write in the comas were there should be lines; not just one big line.
I feel ya
its whatever; but you cant call it a poem with that many syllables in one line... ^_^
ok, what about my other poem?
THIS IS AMAZING, i love it babe! :)
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