Question

Heyy i wrote a short essay and just wondering if someone can read it and make sure there's no mistakes in it

Answer 1

can anyone help?

Answer 2

I can help I think!

Answer 3

Florida passed a law in the year 2013 indicating “Texting and driving is now banned”. But how much of a difference did that really make for us today. Well many people thought this would have a substantial impact on the way people viewed this dangerous activity and the severity of their actions behind the wheel. But the catch is that “In order for this law to be executed or to be in action for you to get in trouble you must have to commit 2 offenses”. So is that law really affective? Well some residents feared that other residents (They are mainly referring to teenagers being reckless and ill experienced behind the wheel), would pay this law absolutely no attention at all. And even ignoring the dangers they pose against others.
And some people may even be fearful and extremely afraid to drive due to others breaking the law. Let’s be honest there concerns are very valid in today’s world. But to lighten up our thinking let’s look at some statistics. Here’s 5 facts about the dangers of texting in driving today. Well first the Number of Americans killed every day from motor vehicle accidents that involved distracted driving, such as using a cellphone, texting or eating is Nine! Second 1 in 4 that is the probability that a motor vehicle crash involved a cellphone. Third 40% the percentage of teens who say they have been a passenger in a car whose driver used a cellphone in a way that put them in danger. Forth 33% the percentage of U.S. drivers ages 18 to 64 who reported reading or writing text messages while driving in the previous month. In comparison, only 15 percent of drivers from Spain reported texting while driving in the same period. The final fact is that 341, 000 is the number of motor vehicle crashes in 2013 that involved texting. Just from these statistics and facts says to me personally that they have a right to be afraid of this and take action.
That’s why many locals in Florida have come to a verdict to take action against this and come up with a plan. They want to create a stronger and more affective law. Which is understandable, but the state of Florida is doing the best they can at the moment to prevent texting and driving. And Florida is known to be one out of the other forty one states to take action and add this law prohibiting texting and driving behind the wheel while driving. So if they’re willing to go that far already why not take the next step just to try to ensure the safety of other people on the road. But truly we can all be happy and thankful that we have this law in the first place. Which has resulted in a significant improvement of lower crash numbers due to texting and driving.
Personally I do agree and want to take action with the citizens that want to have a much stronger law. And Florida is actually in the process to take action with its citizens and accomplishing their wishes to provide extra safety for the people in this state. In conclusion to my thought, I personally am thankful in the first place the residents are able to be heard. And action is taking place to prevent an action that can cause people there lives and their family’s emotional pain. So let’s all be digitally responsible and aware because it's our responsibility to use technology in a way that doesn't harm others and to be aware of the impact that technology has on society at large.

Answer 4

thank you

Answer 5

If there's anyone problems could you possibility correct it :/ ?

Answer 6

*possibly

Answer 7

"“In order for this law to be executed or to be in action for you to get in trouble you must have to commit 2 offenses” I think you should rewrite it to say "“In order for this law to be executed or to be put in action for you to get in trouble, you have to have committed 2 offenses”

Answer 8

Aight will change that asap

Answer 9

So is that law really affective?" You should use the word Effective instead of affective because effective means successful in producing a desired or intended result while affective means relating to moods, feelings, and attitudes.

Answer 10

Hmm I think you could shorten this to just say teenagers instead of (They are mainly referring to teenagers being reckless and ill experienced behind the wheel) so that it doesn't make the sentence seem like a run on.

Answer 11

Thank you!

Answer 12

"would pay this law absolutely no attention at all. And even ignoring the dangers they pose against others. " Maybe you could combine this sentence like this: would pay this law absolutely no attention at all, even ignoring the dangers they pose against others.

Answer 13

"Let’s be honest there concerns are very valid in today’s world. " There should be Their.

Answer 14

"But to lighten up our thinking let’s look at some statistics. " You should put a coma between thinking and let's.

Answer 15

kk, i'm updating the thing as you list errors
Thank you so much!

Answer 16

"Here’s 5 facts about the dangers of texting in driving today. " Maybe change in driving to and driving.

Answer 17

"Well first the Number of Americans killed every day from motor vehicle accidents that involved distracted driving, such as using a cellphone, texting or eating is Nine!" Maybe you can write it as:
First, the Number of Americans killed every day from distracted driving (such as using a cellphone, texting or eating) is Nine!

Answer 18

I feel so stupid now :3

Answer 19

"Second 1 in 4 that is the probability that a motor vehicle crash involved a cellphone."
You should rewrite this sentence to say:
Second, 1 in 4 motor vehicle accidents involve a cellphone.

Answer 20

Aw don't feel stupid!! You are a great writer. It's just little things that we all do. (Trust me this happens to me all the time) :D

Answer 21

Thank you <3XD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 22

Aight this was my final draft so :p

Answer 23

"Third 40% the percentage of teens who say they have been a passenger in a car whose driver used a cellphone in a way that put them in danger."
Third, 40% of teenagers say they have been in a car where the driver was using a cellphone and put them in danger in some way.

Answer 24

"Forth 33% the percentage of U.S. drivers ages 18 to 64 who reported reading or writing text messages while driving in the previous month."
You should rewrite this to say:
Forth, 33% of U.S. drivers from the age 18 to 64 have reported reading or writing text messages while behind the wheel in the previous month.

Answer 25

"In comparison, only 15 percent of drivers from Spain reported texting while driving in the same period."
You can rewrite this to say:
In comparison, only 15% of drivers from Spain reported texting while driving in the same period.

Answer 26

"The final fact is that 341, 000 is the number of motor vehicle crashes in 2013 that involved texting. Just from these statistics and facts says to me personally that they have a right to be afraid of this and take action."
You can rewrite this and say:
Finally, In 2013 the number of motor vehicle crashes that involved texting was 341,000. These statistics and facts say to me that they have a right to be scared and that we need to take action.

Answer 27

"That’s why many locals in Florida have come to a verdict to take action against this and come up with a plan. They want to create a stronger and more affective law."
You can rewrite this to say:
This is why many locals in Florida have come to the verdict that they need to take action and come up with a plan to create a stronger and more effective law.

Answer 28

"And Florida is known to be one out of the other forty one states to take action and add this law prohibiting texting and driving behind the wheel while driving."
Florida is also known to be 1 out of 40 states to take action to prohibit texting and driving behind the wheel while driving.

Answer 29

"So if they’re willing to go that far already why not take the next step just to try to ensure the safety of other people on the road."
You can rewrite this as:
If they're willing to go that far already, why not take the steps necessary to try and ensure safety on the road for others.

Answer 30

"But truly we can all be happy and thankful that we have this law in the first place. Which has resulted in a significant improvement of lower crash numbers due to texting and driving."
You can write this as:
Although we can all be happy and thankful that we have this law in the first place and because of this there has been a significant decrease in crash numbers.

Answer 31

That's it! All of the rest is good. I must say though I loved your paper! You convinced me and if I was your teacher I would give you an A+++++++++++++++++++ :3

Answer 32

Back sorry was eating :3

Answer 33

lol no worries! ^^

Answer 34

And editing, thanks for everything!

Answer 35

No problem! Good Luck on your paper!