Question

I'm very bored so I'll write a poem so here it goes please leave feedback!


I have a heart too,
Don't you know
It's sad but I don't know where to go,
You hate me.
Don't you?
It's okay,
Don't worry because, I hate me too.
As I feel the tears streaming down my face,
There is heartache all over the place.
Just leave, Just go.
There is nothing else more for me to know.

Answer 1

This is a good poem ^-^..Kind of sad tho...(crys)

Answer 2

I believe that poems are all good because they are meant to in a few words describe what may take a whole book to write and its really hard to tell someone how to make the poem better because the words are always drawn from perspective... what speaks to may not speak to you and so forth but for me personally the poem was a bit vague. I really wish you would have elaborated on your feelings and made connections between them, like you are addressing someone within the poem saying "you hate me" but why? and is this what makes you ask if that person knows you have a heart and when you say its sad do mean your heart or that the person may not know you have one because at the end you say there is nothing left for YOU to know so i'm thinking that means your talking about the person or of love...but its kinda hard to see exactly what you mean. Also you rhyme scheme is throwing me a bit too...it's like you tried to have one but you couldn't really rhyme everything which is okay its just a bit scattered is all...but if you were meant to give some abstract meaning in your poem then its fine...and maybe it is just me not understanding all its suppose to encompass but this is just my advice. Edit it and see if you can refine the mood of it a bit...otherwise it's well done.

Answer 3

lol I I meant what speaks to me may not speak to you