Question

I need someone to edit a story of mine. It is due on Monday

Answer 1

Ok, I'd gladly help out. :)

Answer 2

Here is the story:
A kit appeared in the darkest corner of the building. Ginger haired paws held a ball. There was nothing special about the ball. Or so it seemed. The ball was plain. The kit rolled onto its back and kicked the ball into the air. As the ball went into the air, it sparkled. Reflected on the ball’s surface was a figure. A dark, lean figure, with hair only in one place, was approaching the kit. The ball mesmerized the kit. Taking advantage of the apparent distraction, the figure snatched the ball from the air. Confused, the kit opened its eyes. Getting back onto its feet, the kit noticed that his precious ball was stolen by the figure in front of him. Enraged, the kit snarled, unleashing 4 more tails. All 5 tails swayed behind the kit. When the figure caught the gaze of the kit, it immediately collapsed to the floor. The girl was on her hands and knees. Terrified. Realizing he won, the kit smiled. The kit could care less about the girl, as long as he retrieved his beloved ball. With a victorious stride, the kit walked over to the girl and ripped his ball from her arms. The kit left that realm holding his beauteous possession.
*It is a nanofiction and has to stay under 250 words

Answer 3

I'll proofread it when I get home

Answer 4

It looks pretty good, just try and replace "kit" with another word. Like: "The feline rolled on it's back and kicked the ball in the air." Instead of using 'kit' I used 'feline'.

Answer 5

That character is suposed to be a baby kitsune. Would feline work for that?

Answer 6

Ohhh, I thought 'kit' meant 'kitten' or 'kitty'. Sorry!

Answer 7

It's okay

Answer 8

Just a tip, use the actual word for numbers instead of the digits. It's easier to read.

Answer 9

Yeah. The poem is fine I think.