May someone review my essay?

Question

jabez177 · Answer

Here it is. :)

jabez177 · Answer

@Atsie @SamsungFanBoy @haleyelizabeth2017 @anyone_else_who_wants_to

samsungfanboy · Answer

*starts reading*

anonymous · Answer

In the 3rd paragraph, I would put a comma after the word "boss" but other then that it's great!

alones · Answer

Fantastic Jabey *claps*

jabez177 · Answer

@gmmlover, I was thinking that... My bad. :P

anonymous · Answer

Good. Your essay is great! @jabez177

rhondasommer · Answer

drumset is one word

rhondasommer · Answer

you have about 8 mistakes in Complex and compound sentence punctuation
2 uses of Passive voice use
a smidge of Improper formatting
and you have a colloquial phrases.

other than that, GREAT!

osgood · Answer

Great job, where are you from?

jabez177 · Answer

Drum set is 2 words. :/
Drumsticks is one word. 
I felt like I kind messed up, thanks, @RhondaSommer! :)

tennis5518 · Answer

Okay is not like I don't like it it just boring and dull you need more HAPPY and more Sparkle words or interesting words or simile, metaphor something that is very good essay and the audience want to here it more bc  I was reading it and I didn't think it was the best and it wasnt the worst but it OK but you can do better just fix something and you got it @jabez177

tennis5518 · Answer

<3<3<3 :D :)

anonymous · Answer

in my opinion the story is great and you shouldn't make any changes. It's not boring