Question

How do you like my story so far?

Answer 1

The Beginning
Far off in the land of Guatemala the village of Tamaskha. There were women weaving cloths and girls making pottery. Men building stuff out of wood. They were all getting ready for the big ceremony. Today the great Chief and his wife were having their second child. About 2 hours later the center bell rang. Everyone came running even some dogs.
An old lady came out and said “Welcome one and all”… then she went inside the stone house and came out with the Chief and his wife. The Chief said in a loud voice so that everyone could hear. “We join together to present you all our new baby girl.” Man and mostly women tried to get closer. The Chief spoke again, saying “Her name is called Yeni” Her big dark eyes seemed to dance. She kicked her little feet. She had beautiful black hair and fawn like skin. The mother whispered to her husband. “She is going to be very determined and a big fighter.”
Far off in the woods there where two men standing. The one said to the other in hushed voices “There she is.” “When she is five we will take her away!” The other guy gave a slowing hushed yet angry laugh, “Mwuahahahaha.” We need to get out of here so they don’t see us. That baby is worth a lot of money if she ever gets stolen and her parents want her back.
Several years went by and everything was going as usual. Yeni could now run! She helped the other kids pick up sticks for the fire. It was now her 4th birthday! Everyone was all excited except for one who seemed overly excited for Yeni to turn 5! The Chiefs wife’s grandmother was quite worried for some reason. She was not sure why but she was. She made sure Yeni was never out of her site. Then when Yeni was 4 and in 5 days turning 5 something mysterious happened. Around the stone house where Yeni was. There was something scratching at the window. The old grandmother shot up and looked as a pieces of paper slide through. Her heart was pound and beating very fast. She didn’t want the intruder to know she was awake and watching. After 2 minutes of waiting, she crawled up and reached for the note that was on the floor. Her hands were shaking like crazy. The note said… “There will be a big attack on this village in 5 days. It was now time for people to get up. She showed this to the Chief. The Chief said “Then we must get ready for this.” He sent everyone to work on getting ready to flee. It was now the 5th day. Everyone was ready for them. About mid-day they heard pounding of horse hooves. The watchers where riding on their horses as fast as they could. They said “They are coming! GO! GO! GO! Flee from this place!” Everyone took off like a shoot. The Chief and his wife were pushed along with the crowed into the woods. Just then the wife shouted “My Yeni she is not with us!” She looked around and saw that both her children were separated from her. Her husband hushed her and ushered her that they were safe and was with someone else.
“Look at that” shouted a man covered in black. “We did it and the child is over there by the bell.” 20 men came and started to surround the poor little frighten child. Just then a teenage boy come running he hurled himself on the guy that was just about to take his sister. The guy in black stumbled and fell. All the other guys in black grabbed the boy and pushed him up to the pole with the bell. They tied him there and left him. “Now look at that” said an old man. “A young boy walked over to the boy and whispered in a hushed voice “I wish I could help you boy but I can’t.” He looked around to see if anyone saw him missing. The he said “I was forced to do this.” Then pulled up his sleeve and showed the boy a burnt indent of a X. “See this is what happens when you get forced and marked.” “I am one of them now” He nodded his head sadly and walked off to where Yeni was tied up. “There that is all done and over with” said the leader. He looked everyone in their eyes and said “Was it so bad” in a mocking voice. He walked over to the new forced members and said “Stop looking in a pitiful way get used to it!” He let out an evil laugh “Mwuahahahaha!” They all disappeared over the hill.
(Story to be continued)

Answer 2

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT:)

Answer 3

it's interesting.... :) <3<3

Answer 4

Niicee!

Answer 5

Thanks! <3 <3 <3 <3

Answer 6

no problem!! <3<3

Answer 7

Duuuuuuuuuudeeeeeeeeeee
Holy poop... its amazing qwertts c:

Answer 8

but i think you ment to put thEn in stead of the
" The he said “I was forced to do this.” Then pulled up his sleeve and showed the boy a burnt indent of a X. "

Answer 9

it was in the last paragraph

Answer 10

Qwerty123 there are a few auto corrects you could make but in all its a wonderfull story it has great detail and i think you did a very great job on this!

Answer 11

I agree with you @Lexi_Loves its.........interesting, i kinda want to read more

Answer 12

lol yea. its like you don't want the story to end at that! with every word, it makes it more interesting, and makes it much more interesting!!! :D I love it its great!!!

Answer 13

Thanks so much! <3 Yeah I am not great at spelling ;-;

Answer 14

woah awesome pretty AWESOME ^_^

Answer 15

Thanks you! ^.^

Answer 16

In the first paragraph where it said "Men building stuff out of wood" you might want to rephrase that........ it just doesn't sound right, in my opinion it might help to be a little more specific @Qwertty123

Answer 17

oh okay thanks! :D