Question

Me and my sister are creating a song and would love for some input and perhaps see if anyone would like to try and add something to it. We know it might be a little amateur and some may not like it but we would love some feedback. I'll explain what the song is about in the comment section.

Answer 1

This song is about the frustration many have and hold in even when it's hard. It's about those moments when you just want to beat the walls and scream the frustration out. Through all of this you start to figure out more of yourself and grow as a person and grow. So here are the lyrics it's just a first draft so please don't be too harsh.

Through the beaten walls where we find ourselves
where the paints crawled off and the hurts still there
where I find myself
no I know myself
Where it don't matter if your bi straight or gay
through the beaten walls it's the only way
cause through the beaten walls where we find ourselves
where the paints crawled off and the hurts still there.

That's what we have so far...

Answer 2

I like these lyrics and I really like the rhythm they have. If it were me, I would steer clear of controversial topics such as sexual preference. It's better to be more general and have people dig for the meaning. In fact, it will be more applicable to more people because they interpret it the way they need to.

Answer 3

Thank you @tanner23456 I will keep that in mind as I continue on the song :)

Answer 4

@Adrianna.Gongora I actually am in agreement with Tanner.
People take serious offense at the topic of sexual preferences, and if I really dared, I could tell you a few stories regarding that. But with this, I think you should scratch it. Allow people to understand it according to their own situation. Don't portray their life for them.
Maybe opt for something different like

"Where it don't matter if you've been loved or set astray
though the beaten walls, its the only way.

Or...

"Where nothing hides behind the grey
through the beaten walls, its the only way"


Just anything that you can think of or play around with. I'm sure somethings bound to fit. :)

Overall though, I like what you have here.
I really really love the part about "where the paints crawled off."
A metaphor so vividly fitting to this type of theme is rare, but unique and original.
Keep it up! ^.^

Answer 5

If you don't mind may I use one of those I really like them and yes I understand what you are saying. I have a gay brother and a bisexual sister. I do not want to offend anyone so I will switch that part. Thank you. c: @Atsie and I will keep this in mind as I continue on with the song.

Answer 6

Sure! By all means, use whichever you think fits best :)
And your welcome! @Adrianna.Gongora

Answer 7

i like the song

Answer 8

Thank you @likeabossssssss

Answer 9

np

Answer 10

its pretty good

Answer 11

Thank you c:

Answer 12

kewl really kewl

Answer 13

Thank you :)

Answer 14

No prob

Answer 15

it really good

Answer 16

Thank you

Answer 17

I really like it
May I ask what genre it is?

Answer 18

Not sure I was thinking the tone should be something like Fun: We are young ft. Janelle Monae ? Maybe you can help me with that ?

Answer 19

Yas I LOVE fun
Nate Ruess is so cool

Answer 20

So would that be a good one? I also like Carry on :) so maybe a smash of those two?

Answer 21

Are they just lyrics or do you have the way that the lyrics are going to sound?

Answer 22

I have an Idea honestly and I already had a tune that I wanted to do but I wanted to add to the tune so it goes more with the song and take something out of it as well

Answer 23

http://assets.openstudy.com/updates/attachments/5672d7efe4b060eb450e3dac-samsungfanboy-1450367008359-theway.mp3 maybe?? I haven't wrote a song in years so I'm rusty lol

Answer 24

It's not exactly how I want it too sound so I'll be taking stuff out and adding my own parts too it but that's what I wan't to work around on this.

Answer 25

This sounds like Secondhand Serenade have you heard of them?

Answer 26

Look them up

Answer 27

I will and I just seen this instrumental on a post i'm gonna change it to fit my song way more

Answer 28

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1O9DyFLIKo

Answer 29

@MathMusician I would love for you too make the instrumental :) you know what sound it should be and I am gonna have a hard time changing it to fit

Answer 30

There is one thing I need though I need at least a start of how the lyrics sound, do you think you could post yourself singing them or e-mail me you singing them?

Answer 31

yes I'll probably email you but give me a minute cause I have to get this computer too work haha

Answer 32

Okay

Answer 33

The lyrics are amazing! Great job :)

Answer 34

Thank You!

Answer 35

@kelsey.benton00

Answer 36

I like the lyrics and the meaning they hold. The phrase "beaten walls" alone holds so much, like, struggle, yunno? So I think if you're trying to reach a struggling, frustrated audience, you'll definitely get there and the message will be powerfully received. So keep going with this. However, I think what you have so far is a bit repetitive, if you don't mind my saying. If you listen to a lot of modern music, you'll find that the majority of it is vastly repetitive, so I mean, it's not that your song wouldn't be good simply because it is repetitive. I guess it all depends on taste. However, it's not the repetitive songs you listen to and just like, sit back and think "wow," you know what I'm saying? Writing songs is tough. Like writing stories, but harder because you have to make the words rhyme. So be patient with it, and only sit down to write when you're actually in the mood. If you spontaneously have an idea, write it down. In fact, a good way to begin brainstorming for a song is to just jot down a whole bunch of ideas and find ways to develop and make them rhyme later on down the road. Maybe this is more advice than you were actually looking for, so I'll stop here and just wish you luck as you continue in composing this song with your sister. I think there's a lot of potential here, so kudos (:

Answer 37

:) Thank you! I appreciate all the advice and no, no advice is too much it is gonna help me! :) I will keep all of this from all of you in mind when continuing on with this song. :) Thank you all soo much!