Question

guys and gals I want to see all the poets we have so poetry thread ?

Answer 1

@RhondaSommer @Hope210 @MissMeow @Osgood @ImpracticalJoker @HeatherO @heyyyyitsholly @SkyVoltage @skatergirl147

Answer 2

what do we do just post our best poem?

Answer 3

post your best or create a new one then post it

Answer 4

ok one sec

Answer 5

kk im doing a new one

Answer 6

I was born in your hand, holding me tight.
The first thing I saw from my eye was you.
Bringing me home safely from that scary night.

Since then I realized you'll love me despite
of any trouble that comes in your way.
I was born in your hand, holding me tight.

With you telling me every morning it was all right.
Taking care of me whole day, while you’re at work.
Bringing me home safely from that scary night.

Since then our love have taken deep flight.
so high like a rocket reaching towards the sky.
I was born in your hand, holding me tight.

I remember the first time you taught me to write.
Taking care of me while you are working whole day.
Bringing me home safely from that scary night.

You treating me like the flying kite,
Generous, kind and not getting angry for what I do.
I was born in your hand, holding me tight.
Bringing me home safely from that scary night.

Answer 7

i did my best one

Answer 8

i like this one

Answer 9

which one?

Answer 10

your first poem

Answer 11

@Ballerina_MJ @Dragontears1128 add more people if ya want and please submit your own workas well

Answer 12

I'm not much of a poet my self. Lol

Answer 13

lol just give it a shot or some feed back eithe one

Answer 14

Ok :)

Answer 15

lol you need to stop it with the tacky fonts. all it does is make it hard to read.

Answer 16

morrow should have ' at the end of it.

Answer 17

at the end don't say "it" gets better. describe what "it" is

Answer 18

hey lol its better then just dull font and yeah i know lol i did it wrong im have asleep rn i think i shoudve went to bed lat night

Answer 19

thats for the reader to figure out lol

Answer 20

no excuses. im giving you feedback.

Answer 21

also, you start out with ending each line with a period and then you stop doing that. you should either end each line with a period or not. If you dont, the next line should not be capitalized.

Answer 22

and line 10 seems a bit long compared to the rest of the poem. I recommend breaking line 10 into 2 different lines.

Answer 23

lol ive been waiting for someone to knitpick it apart lol

Answer 24

thank you

Answer 25

another thing is that you start out the first 6 lines "the" it seems really repetitive, which is fine, but then you break off from that 7 lines and after. either separate those lines through out the poem or make sure you have an actual purpose in breaking off the repetition. Your diction is pretty good but your first and second line are basically the same. your poem is okay though. Keep writing :)

Answer 26

as for the capitals on every line that was automatic when i pressed enter and im editing it now so just fyi im going to tag you in the revision

Answer 27

and i would much prefer "dull" font. it is less tacky, easy to read, and looks more professional.

Answer 28

and i need a new titile

Answer 29

the title seems fine. you stay talking about winter almost entirely throughout the poem right? i would just take out "clutch" in it.

Answer 30

i also said dont let the title mislead you the whole poem is a symbol

Answer 31

@RhondaSommer here is the revision

Answer 32

there is most likely going to be another revision as well

Answer 33

okay, but you should make the title of the poem be something that the poem "literally" is. When you write the title of the poem, you have to forget the symbolism and the similes and metaphors and all that crap. honestly you shouldn't have said a thing about it being "misleading". as another author, I can confidently say....that was stupid. It was. Let your readers interpret the title, as well as the poem. What you write is simply letters upon a paper. The person who reads it might have a different meaning behind it, and its unfair to them if you tell them that what they think the poem means is wrong.

Answer 34

This is a couple of revisions i recommend, ill take a harder look though.

Answer 35

i like your revisions but the thing is with the revisions the poem kinda falls from my style of writing youve read a few of my others and there is a pretty clear style

Answer 36

i didnt do the little off to the side no but you had two run on lines and they needed to be thier own lines so i broke it apart and kept your "style". Because it isnt about "sorrows call" i mean sure, it could be symbolic but you NEED to leave that to the reader to figure out. other wise all you are doing is telling a story :/

Answer 37

this is one of mine :) I do a little bit of a different style than you.

Answer 38

yes i know but idk lol i think it kinda matches the second one here and the 1st attachment well thats how i used to write idk which do u prefer

Answer 39

i made one minor adjustment to yours i added a word to it

Answer 40

you need to stop naming your poems after what you think it is about and what the poem is "actually" about. seriously.

Answer 41

lol on which one

Answer 42

both. i only read the death because i hate haiku's but thats a preference. what word did you add?

Answer 43

people after it says these suicidal are tired of living life it now reads as suicidal people there not all haiku either the others are free verse and i dont remember the other one lol

Answer 44

freedom is a free verse and the last one i think is a soliloquy

Answer 45

eh. im not a fan of short poems.

Answer 46

lol i was at the time i mean 3 years does make a difference

Answer 47

you should delete that tag. I think the person was just looking for medals.

Answer 48

true lol