Question

Can I get help editing this poem of mine?

Answer 1

Hello Mr. Walker
Why don’t you talk to her
Look at what you’ve done

She keeps crying
As well as dying
Keeping it all to herself

She keeps lying
And they keep prying
“What is going on?!”

All alone she thinks to herself
‘I can’t live with myself’

She is falling into the black
Letting it take her back
To where she truly belongs

A knife, hand in hand
Ready to join
Those just like her

‘What have I done?’
‘Who have I become?’
She feels like nothing on this plane

Answer 2

Maybe under line or capatilize look in da trid line

Answer 3

@dako87

Answer 4

Now what I have is:
Hello Mr. Walker
Why don’t you talk to her
Look at what you’ve done

She keeps lying
And they keep prying
“What is going on?!”

She keeps crying
As well as dying
Keeping it all to herself

All alone she thinks to herself
‘I can’t live with myself’

She’s falling into the black
Letting it take her back
To where she truly belongs

A knife, hand in hand
Ready to join
Those just like her

‘What have I done?’
‘Who have I become?’
She feels like nothing on this plane

Answer 5

looks good as it is the flaws in it only make it more unique anyone can use grammar and punctuation only a few select individuals can write with such conviction and emotion that all forms or proper English become null and void

Answer 6

Thx for the feedback :)

Answer 7

your welcome