help with poem?
The wind in my face
The water at my feet
I couldn’t stand still in one spot
My feet carried me to the edge of the bank
I felt as though I was a horse
Running freely to see all the beautiful sights
Intrigued as I felt the warmth of rocks under my feet
Picking up a smooth warm rock to examine
I had to go further
I was being called by the birds
The smell had a spell on me
Nothing could stop me from going deeper
The bright colors of blue, green and purple
The tall green trees
The sparkling blue water
The small purple flowers
Up in the mountains i was at peace

Question

atsie · Answer

I absoloutly love the rhythm of your details in this here! I love the line "The smell had a spell on me."
Out of curiosity, what did you title this?
The only suggestion that I have is that you maybe write a little more fluidly, because I noticed some of the lines are getting choked off sooner than they should be and it seems to make the poem more choppy. But writing wise and as far as giving sensory details, go get em girl! I love it! ^.^

katpowell2017 · Answer

i titled it In The Mountains and also what can i do to help it flow easier? im not too good at writing and i would really like to make it better:) thank you for your response

atsie · Answer

Here, @katPowell2017 I made this up for you. I really really hope its of some help! ^.^ https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dx6UtaiqCIh2gwQi7vDtgB41BRjjSrWFPCnahJZC8lo/edit?usp=sharing

katpowell2017 · Answer

thank you so much that was amazing:)

atsie · Answer

You are so welcome! ^.^ @katPowell2017