Question

I am having issues making this sentence flow and not be choppy. Help???
1) For example, a teen lied to their colleague about their shoes being fashionable; however, lied because they did not want to hurt their feeling’s.

Answer 1

Ah, so far, you are repeating, and switching to different ideas in only one sentence, which throws the reader off. The main idea/topic/theme the sentence is trying to convey to us is how a teen lied to their college, to avoid hurting/offending them, correct? Here is an example of a sentence:

For an example, a teen lied about a fellow colleague's shoes being fashionable; sparing his or her feelings.

Or maybe,

In a mere glance, the teen seemingly stated that their fellow colleague's shoes were fashionable and trendy to him(or her.). However, in hindsight, it was evident that she/he lied to permit sad and heartbroken feelings.


The double 'lied' is a restatement that should not be there, and it is like the stone, stopping the water we have from flowing.


The 'feeling's' to NOT need a singular possession tense. Hence that 'their' alone signals possession. A 'feeling' cannot obtain that right, because it itself IS something to be possessed, not a possessor.


However should not be there, use another transition word.


You have the right thing going by adding ';' TO signal separation of independent clauses.