Question

Can anyone give me feedback on my writing

Answer 1

where's your writing?

Answer 2

I Love It

Answer 3

First of all, make sure you format your paper so...
Your name
Teachers name
Class name
Date
Period of class
Then, title your paper and indent all your paragraphs and make sure it's Times New Roman and 12pt font.

Answer 4

Now, I'll read it hold on.

Answer 5

I did not yet finish this paper. I will still add different examples of stereotypes.

Answer 6

A few grammatical errors here and there and spelling mistakes but overall it's really great!

Answer 7

Thank you @icesysyfish and @faithyann. Is there a program that could spot my grammar mistakes?

Answer 8

I didn't find anything wrong with it :)

Answer 9

A few grammatical errors here and there and spelling mistakes but overall it's really great!

Answer 10

grammarcheck.net (:

Answer 11

Grammarly is another great grammar checking site! :)

Answer 12

Looks good! I'd however change it to MLA format (Modern Languages Association) which is the acceptable format for essays and papers. If you aren't sure on what the MLA format is, you can search it up and it'll give you a set of requirements so that it meets the format. Make sure to include a title as well!

Answer 13

it seems to me that it is well l written. But let me ask you why don't you ask specialists like supreme essay service? They do a good job. I'm sure they'll help you more than I.

Answer 14

good job

Answer 15

I received feedback from my teacher and here are some of her comments.
1) use formal language 2) check SVA (Subject verb agreement) 3) Rewrite the thesis statement.
How can I edit my general statement so that's it is not in informal form?

Answer 16

I liked it much. However, a fresh look of the professional on it is a must. You may check what the guys from Marvelous Essay service can do for you. I love them for their professionalism

Answer 17

indenting your paragraphs :3

Answer 18

As for the first paragraph, to make it formal, just get rid of the words "our" and "we", and I would prefer not starting the essay with questions. :)

I don't see a thesis (which is usually the last sentence of the first paragraph)...one sentence that generalizes the main ideas of the other paragraphs would suffice.

Other than that and a few grammatical errors here and there, it's a great paper. Keep up the good work! Feel free to add any other questions you may have. ^_^

Answer 19

I am having trouble editing my general statement into formal style. I am supposed to address the effects and causes of media stereotypes, but I am not sure whether the last couple of sentences in my first paragraph do fulfill that or not

Answer 20

Hmm...yeah they don't really blend in. I think it would help if you finished the essay as a whole, then focus on the 3 main key ideas.

Answer 21

I assume that you haven't finished the last paragraph...?

Answer 22

I should discuss the cause and effect of stereotype in media in each body paragraph
, so do you think I should get rid of "Recent research has shown that white people are likely to hold theses stereotypes against black people in America especially with cases related to crime. Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign over the past decade revealed that participants were more likely to shoot targets depicting black people than those depicting white people"

Answer 23

Hmm...I don't think the evidence is lacking, but just the main ideas that aren't written out, that's all.

Answer 24

In conclusion, as long there exist different races, culture, media stereotypes will merely fade away. As media will continue operating to serve a particular agenda, new boundaries are set apart between people, hypnotizing people with negative emotions such as fear and leading to hatred towards an opposing group. However, one way to reduce stereotypes, people should recognize the various forms of violence that could take place whether it’s physical or emotional, attacking people based on their race, belief, sexual orientation and gender.Allowing different perspectives will advance the understanding of threats underlying a society in a faster way other than a group of people thinking in the same way.

Answer 25

"Are People actually in control of their choices or are they picking the “best” out of all the possible outcomes that arise in their life? Some people believe that they are elements running by actions of a high powered system which sets everything their eyes witnesses and they’re conscious of. As time passes, people’s mind consumes and registers images without consent and they start to think in categories; they label those categories and use them to construct their social behavior". I replaced words like "we" and our with "people", "their" and "they" to make it formal.

Answer 26

In the sentence,"Stereotypes are a big problem in our society; it influences constructs" I narrowed down my focus to stereotypes based on body type and race and to relate to the main ideas of my body paragraphs.

Answer 27

Nice! Just add a new thesis to your original first paragraph, fix the grammar in the rest of the essay, and you're good to go.

Answer 28

I thought that the last couple of sentences I wrote represent the thesis as they summarize the main ideas of the topic.