Feed back on my story?

Question

queenpeach · Answer

I heard a crashing noise and a yelp and looked up to see a guy get pulled down by the force of gravity along with his crutches. I ran over to help. I pulled his arm over my shoulder expecting to help him up but suddenly got pulled down. He forces my lips onto his and bit into my lip. As I struggled to get out he dug deeper into my lips making it bleed. Finally, his arm detached from my head and I pulled away. He chuckled. 
“Crazy Russian, doesn’t even know what a kiss is. What? Never learned to obey when you were a part of the Soviet Union?” he grinned a sly grin.
I looked at him in disgust and pressed my wrist against my bleeding lips. 
“Don- Don’t t- tou- touch me!” I stammered “I’m not a Russian. I only speak the language. I was born in America and my parents are Ukrainian anyhow. Keep your filthy hands away from me.”
“Aren’t you going to help me up, babe?” 
I couldn’t just leave him there so I helped him up as quickly as I could and pulled away. I could hear him behind me telling me I was asking for it. Tears flooded down my face as soon as I turned into the next hall. I walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror to see a tear streaked face and a lip with blood spilling out of the teeth imprint left on them. I grabbed a few paper towels, turned on the sink and washed it off as best as I could. My eyes followed the deep red blood swirling down the drain. I knew if I said anything things could get worse. I stroked my bottom lip which had gotten puffy. I let out a sigh and went to class as fast as I could.

otherworldly · Answer

The first paragraph needs work. The first sentence has too many "and" in them. It should be "I looked up as I saw someone crash to the ground by the force of gravity with his crutches" i wouldnt recommment putting " by the force of gravity" because it just doesnt seem right at the moment but u can do it if you want to

queenpeach · Answer

@OtherWordly thanks I'll take your advice!

queenpeach · Answer

@OtherWorldly    *

heavenlyfrazier · Answer

it's good and made me wonder what the story was about, but like otherworldy said too many ands and maybe so more detail/pacing? like when she helped him up maybe describe what she did to help him or what he did? description is going to help a lot.

klark · Answer

You're doing well. Anyway, writing requires a lot of practice. So keep doing that. I've personally used the help of supreme essay guys for that. They both proofread and edited my papers. So I could analyze my mistakes. If you want you can give them a try. All the best!

derek · Answer

I really like your work. I mean it is easy to read, however, I want you to advise you work more on the word choice. Try, to make to more coherent, or what.