Question

Alright here's the long awaited return of the history lessons.

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oh no

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ho boy

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I cannot wait...

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Rome: epicenter of culture, who we can thank and blame for much of the political climate of America. The longest lasting empire. There are a few key figures we'll discuss: Caesar's Triumvirate, Gaius Marius, Cincinnatus, Hannibal Barca, Augustus Caesar, Scipio Africanus, Nero, Diocletian, and finally Constantine. Each of these figures played a key part in shaping not only Rome, but wider society as a whole even extending to today. The goal of this post is three pronged; to provide a humorous look at key figures in Roman history, To help anyone who is studying Roman history, and finally to hopefully make Roman history a tad more interesting to those who do not normally enjoy history.

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ooof

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I am laughing I couldn't get past the first sentence

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The first figure we're going to take a look at is Cincinnatus. Cincinnatus was a pretty big deal in terms of Roman history and he helps us explain a part of Roman politics. Cincinnatus was basically a retired farmer chilling out at home when a bunch of Barbarians were up to no good and went after Rome. Cincinnatus was a consul which was the highest single office you could hold in Rome at the time. There were two consuls elected each election cycle (think co-presidents). Back to the story at hand. Cincinnatus decided that he was sick of the rabblerousing barbarians so he came out of retirement seized control of the roman army and Rome itself (by declaring himself dictator). He led the army out wrecked the barbarians and then went back to chilling on his farm. Why Cincinnatus is important for us today is because of his influence. George Washington was greatly influenced by Cincinnatus which is why when he decided that a president should only serve two terms. He was there when the nation needed a leader and after he was done he rode off into the proverbial sunset. Cincinnatus also had a city named after him. Cincinnati in Ohio.

Answer 8

haha this is a hard one i am not the best at history! lol But love my fans!

Answer 9

I am on break from learning rn lol. I am outta here

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right!

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The second figure (or figures) we'll take a look at is Caesar's Triumvirate. This triumvirate consisted of three people; Julius Caesar, Pompey the great, and Marcus Crassus. Each of these men had something unique they brought to the triumvirate and they kept each other balanced. Crassus was wealthy. Fun fact about Crassus is that he created the first fire department. Now you might be thinking "Oh wow what a great guy." You'd be wrong if you thought that he would set people's houses on fire and then make them pay him to put it out. Pompey was the general of the group and so he had the muscle to back up the triumvirate. Caesar was the brains of the group. Each of the triumvirate went their separate ways to conquer the known world. Caesar went to Gaul (France), Crassus went east to Parthia (Turkey and parts of Iraq and Iran), and South towards Africa and Sicily. Everything was going swimmingly for the triumvirate until, Crassus had to be an idiot and go and get himself killed. He was not a seasoned general so in order to increase his political standing he bought an army and went to Parthia. Unfortunately for him the Parthians were horse archers. They could out run Crassus' slow moving legionnaires and still do damage. Eventually Crassus had the genius plan to put his soldiers in a tight circle formation. The only problem was that the Parthians just surrounded the Romans and pelted them day and night with arrows until basically no one was left. Crassus' death caused huge waves in history. It's at this moment that Pompey decides to make his move for sole control of Rome. He relieves Caesar of his command and basically takes over Rome. Caesar isn't very happy about being betrayed so he decides to march on Rome with his army. (Soldiers were often more loyal to their general than they were to their country) Caesar crossed the Rubicon river which is where we get the phrase "crossing the Rubicon" to mean the point of no return or no going back. Caesar was deciding to commit treason against Rome when he crossed the Rubicon. Unfortunately for Pompey though Caesar was a really good general and he destroyed Pompey's army in battle. Pompey decided to retreat to Egypt and Caesar was furious with him for having betrayed him so he chased him. A couple of goons trying to gain the favor of Caesar killed Pompey and brought Caesar his head. Caesar was not happy with this as he wanted to be the one that killed Pompey so he had them both killed. After this Caesar went back to Rome and declared himself permanent dictator of Rome which was the first time anyone had done that. This angered the senate greatly and they devised a plan to kill Caesar. Caesar was stabbed to death on the floor of the senate which sparked yet another you guessed it civil war.

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w o a h a whole fricken article man

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Fun fact Caesar was stabbed 23 times.

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Isry what is next??

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I WANT ANOTHER LESSON ISRY.....

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Eeeeeeeeeeee

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yay

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"Octavian and Marc Antony duke it out for control of Rome" Might have been a headline you'd have read in Rome (if newspapers existed at that time). Both men thought they were next in line to replace Caesar after his unfortunate "knife accident". Octavian was Caesar's adopted son and so naturally thought he would be the one to pick up Caesar's mantle. However, Marc Antony had other plans as according to him Caesar said that he would be the next in line to replace him. Both men had their supporters and a civil war broke out. The war was relatively quick and bloody. It culminated in a naval battle in the Mediterranean Sea. Marc Antony ran away and joined Cleopatra in her war against someone going for the throne of Egypt. She supported Marc Antony in his war against Octavius as she fell in love with Marc Antony. Unfortunately for Marc Antony. Octavian was able to win the war. After the war he changed his name to Caesar Augustus and with his reign the Roman Empire truly began.

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hmmmm i asee

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i do not understand big words, but amazing history lessons

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Basically after Caesar died 2 dudes Marc Antony and Octavian fought each other for control of Rome and Octavian won. He changed his name to Caesar Augustus to make himself seem more like Caesar.

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whos Caeser- i-

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Sorry man no one really likes history

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oop

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i love history

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Caesar was a Roman dictator. He was a very polarizing figure this means that a lot of people like him and at the same time a lot of people hate him. (Think Donald Trump). He took control of Rome and he was assassinated. When he died two guys fought over power.

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\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @Timmyspu
Sorry man no one really likes history
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
That's what I'm trying to change. I understand that history can be boring but if you approach it from the right perspective and look at history for what it is (a collection of people and their stories.) It can be very interesting.

Answer 28

Assassins creed is a good game to learn history lol

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oh god