I wrote this song and wanted your opinion on it

Iḿ down, for whatever you wanna do, Iḿ sad, i'm feelin' blue. I think i'm sad, sadder than you, don't make me mad, i'm already stuck with you, I know that, You like her and she likes you, you need her and she needs you, I want you , but you want her, help me god, oh just kill her

Question

I wrote this song and wanted your opinion on it

Iḿ down, for whatever you wanna do, Iḿ sad, i'm feelin' blue. I think i'm sad, sadder than you, don't make me mad, i'm already stuck with you, I know that, You like her and she likes you, you need her and she needs you, I want you , but you want her, help me god, oh just kill her

Gia · Answer

thats only half the song btw

Lisaneedham · Answer

Is was good until I saw the part that said oh just kill her noooooo don't don't say that.

Jay0000 · Answer

Thats disturbing... the last line.

Lisaneedham · Answer

$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}$ @Jay0000
Thats disturbing... the last line.
$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}$
Mhm

Gia · Answer

its a song people
its supposed to be suspenseful and my bf helped me write that

Gia · Answer

$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}$ @Jay0000
Thats disturbing... the last line.
$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}$
ha funny?
jk

Zukasama · Answer

its a good song, except for the last part, but its a good song. ^^

Ashley29 · Answer

weird but thats cool

Gia · Answer

thx

kenken · Answer

i love it super creative tbh

ellapayne · Answer

Yo no need to kill them but alright cool song

Kiki2019 · Answer

it wa rlly good up until you said the lat part. tht was just very disturbing

Tyrion · Answer

she got straight to da point ¨oh juss kill her¨ loooooool

Sam63354 · Answer

Hey, I have something for the last line. Instead of "Oh just kill her," You could do, "help me god, I wish he'd just leave her."

Sam63354 · Answer

$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}$ @Sam63354
Hey, I have something for the last line. Instead of "Oh just kill her," You could do, "help me god, I wish he'd just leave her."
$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}$
But, you also, don't have to change it if you don't want to. To be honest, I think it is fine.

Astrid1 · Answer

Very good, But End is spooky. But there are also a lot of ''you' are in this poem.

LoveAngel91 · Answer

its good, but kinda weird

sxdsouls · Answer

$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}$ @Lisaneedham
Is was good until I saw the part that said oh just kill her noooooo don't don't say that.
$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}$