I hear laughter coming from outside my room. I think it's coming from the family room. I'm laying in my bed, staring at my ceiling while in deep thought. I'm on my back with one knee up & bent. My 2nd leg is crossed over the other. I begin thinking of the laughter I heard and whatever could've been the cause of it .
☁︎︎𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑒..
Right then I hear, "𝗛𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿, 𝘄𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴!"
☁︎︎𝐾𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡.
After hearing another burst of laughter, a slight smile grows on my face. It makes me happy. Laughter. In my opinion, laughter is one of the purest forms of happiness. Honestly, when I think about it- it's other people's happiness that makes me most happy and what makes me even happier is being the one to cause someone's happiness. It makes me feel wanted.. and .. less alone. But.. at the same time, I realized that my happiness never lasts long. It's always short-lived. If I'm being completely honest happiness is just a temporary feeling. I try to tell myself that all feelings are temporary but for me- some feelings last for what seems like forever. Loneliness.. is & will always be permanent for me. I know.. my mind works against me. I've been this way for as long as I can remember.
I live with my dad, my step-mom, my two step-sisters & my dog, Leony. Both of my step-sisters are older than me. I could be out in the family room with them-laughing.. and being happy but, today was a bad day for me. A worse day than any other recently. Nothing had happened in specific, it was just that I was deeper in my thoughts than usual.. the bad kind of thoughts. I tend to let them get the best of me, I can't help it. If I didn't think so much I would probably be okay like 90% of the time. That's my problem, I overthink. So.. instead.. of going out there, I'll stay in my room because I know that I'm not the type of person to force my feelings or pretend I'm happy or even okay when I'm not. Not to say that I'm glad but, I would rather be this way than being okay with faking the way I feel. My dad on the other hand- he wishes I was different. He wishes that I was the type of person to force my feelings. Just like him.
After my mom & sister died, my dad became that type of person- the type to force things- feelings especially. It's like.. I get it.. you can't be sad forever & eventually you have to move on but, I couldn't help but feel like I had everything ripped away from me so suddenly and I've neve

Question

I hear laughter coming from outside my room. I think it's coming from the family room. I'm laying in my bed, staring at my ceiling while in deep thought. I'm on my back with one knee up & bent. My 2nd leg is  crossed over the other. I begin thinking of the laughter I heard and whatever could've been the cause of it .
☁︎︎𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑒..
Right then I hear, "𝗛𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿, 𝘄𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴!"
☁︎︎𝐾𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡.
After hearing another burst of laughter, a slight smile grows on my face. It makes me happy. Laughter. In my opinion, laughter is one of the purest forms of happiness. Honestly, when I think about it- it's other people's happiness that makes me most happy and what makes me even happier is being the one to cause someone's happiness. It makes me feel wanted.. and .. less alone. But.. at the same time, I realized that my happiness never lasts long. It's always short-lived. If I'm being completely honest happiness is just a temporary feeling. I try to tell myself that all feelings are temporary but for me- some feelings last for what seems like forever. Loneliness.. is & will always be permanent for me. I know.. my mind works against me. I've been this way for as long as I can remember.
I live with my dad, my step-mom, my two step-sisters & my dog, Leony. Both of my step-sisters are older than me. I could be out in the family room with them-laughing.. and being happy but, today was a bad day for me. A worse day than any other recently. Nothing had happened in specific, it was just that I was deeper in my thoughts than usual.. the bad kind of thoughts. I tend to let them get the best of me, I can't help it. If I didn't think so much I would probably be okay like 90% of the time. That's my problem, I overthink. So.. instead.. of going out there, I'll stay in my room because I know that I'm not the type of person to force my feelings or pretend I'm happy or even okay when I'm not. Not to say that I'm glad but, I would rather be this way than being okay with faking the way I feel. My dad on the other hand- he wishes I was different. He wishes that I was the type of person to force my feelings. Just like him.
After my mom & sister died, my dad became that type of person- the type to force things- feelings especially. It's like.. I get it.. you can't be sad forever & eventually you have to move on but, I couldn't help but feel like I had everything ripped away from me so suddenly and I've neve