I need help w/ feedback for my song so far. Its not done but here it is so far:

I stand here a waiting by the phone
Wishing for u to hit me up again
But when u said “we’re done”
I almost died
So, when Im all alone and I got nobody to see
Im thinking about u constantly
Never ever wanna see ur face again cuz if I do I’ll lose it again

Question

I need help w/ feedback for my song so far. Its not done but here it is so far:

I stand here a waiting by the phone
Wishing for u to hit me up again
But when u said “we’re done” 
I almost died
So, when Im all alone and I got nobody to see
Im thinking about u constantly 
Never ever wanna see ur face again cuz if I do I’ll lose it again

Angieyogurll · Answer

Sorry abt the cuss

Kaiah2006 · Answer

It's good but I'd take out the again after face but that's just my opinion

mrwhskers · Answer

i love it

Angieyogurll · Answer

@kaiah2006 wrote:

It's good but I'd take out the again after face but that's just my opinion

I was thinkin that too

Angieyogurll · Answer

@mrwhskers wrote:

i love it

Thanks broski

Kaiah2006 · Answer

@angieyogurll wrote:

@kaiah2006 wrote:

It's good but I'd take out the again after face but that's just my opinion

I was thinkin that too

Yeahh but other than that it's really good

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

This is really good! Make sure to post the finished song when you're done, and also I feel like you should structure the song better, and take out the again like @kaiah2006 said. Other than that, this is pretty solid.

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

attachment

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

Obviously you don't have to follow these, but these are just popular structures for inspiration.

Angieyogurll · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

Obviously you don't have to follow these, but these are just popular structures for inspiration.

I prolly will its just the first draft lmao

afflatedAnimism · Answer

What genre are you going for? Is there a beat or a possible melody to go with your lyrics?

Angieyogurll · Answer

Uh,  well not really. Sooo, if any of yall wanna help me hit up meh DM's

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