Rate my poem

Starving, thirst that isn’t the worst
hugs, kisses that’s what she misses
her eyes, her love is what I’m made of
anger, betrayal is what I caused
cause, doubt is why I shout
heartbreak, lies is why I died

Question

Rate my poem

Starving, thirst that isn’t the worst
hugs, kisses that’s what she misses
her eyes, her love is what I’m made of
anger, betrayal is what I caused
cause, doubt is why I shout
heartbreak, lies is why I died

littleraw27 · Answer

Awsome

Imagine · Answer

6/10 ~ Too short, too little backstory.

littleraw27 · Answer

but yeah short

Bozark · Answer

@imagine wrote:

6/10 ~ Too short, too little backstory.

thank you, but poems can be any length

Imagine · Answer

I understand, but the ones that I usually read are longer, which is my liking.

Bozark · Answer

one second

Bozark · Answer

Nobody wants to laugh about death, but if you think about it, it’s no threat, it’s normal and it’s ok if you say “death is a funny think, as you lay there you could die or you could wake up and still be fine, either way it’s not a lie” I’m sorry If I offended you, but really there’s no shame if you say something to get it out your brain, thre is no reason to cry, I will not lie about that, all you need to do is think about where you’re at, but of course crying is fine, I have cried all the time, that’s not a lie, but remember what I said for it is very true, life is like a wine that is divine, but even that doesn’t last longer than time, so remember the next time someone dies it’s no shame to laugh or cry.

Imagine · Answer

That's better, I like it. 10/10 for that.

littleraw27 · Answer

way better 9/10

Bozark · Answer

She left because of love
love left because there wasn’t enough
I had enough of betrayal
betrayal is what lead me to hell
hell is where my love went to die
every night I sit here and cry
for the one I once loved
knowing she left because there wasn’t enough

littleraw27 · Answer

i like these poems

Bozark · Answer

thank you, i like to make poems

Bozark · Answer

and some books

littleraw27 · Answer

yw

Bozark · Answer

this one is more of a quote

"Waiting for love is like waiting for the sun and the moon, they both won’t come at once,
so if love is what you’re after that is something you will have to chase after"

littleraw27 · Answer

u make these

Bozark · Answer

@littleraw27 wrote:

u make these

yes

littleraw27 · Answer

well good luck hope theses make the books one day and u become famouse

Bozark · Answer

@littleraw27 wrote:

well good luck hope theses make the books one day and u become famouse

thank you

TritanCarsons · Answer

Awesome

Strawberrys · Answer

i luv it

Joe348 · Answer

damn that rly hit different brah let me save that

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

I love it, its amazing. the first part kinda reminds me of the song "Empty" by Boyinaband and Jaiden Animations.

AlexIsTrinity · Answer

its good

Bozark · Answer

I would appreciate feedback, just tell me what I need to improve

BrokenMoon · Answer

3/10

Astrid1 · Answer

Well, this poem show's it's own acceptance from the writer. Yet, there's a cold stone that I sense which is why I would have to give this a 2.5/10, no offense, but work on what emotions you put into it, what you say, and relate to what is written, and you'll do great.

Bozark · Answer

@brokenmoon wrote:

3/10

I would like you to tell me what I need to improve

BrokenMoon · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@brokenmoon wrote:

3/10

I would like you to tell me what I need to improve

just overall it needs.... more character

Bozark · Answer

@astrid1 wrote:

Well, this poem show's it's own acceptance from the writer. Yet, there's a cold stone that I sense which is why I would have to give this a 2.5/10, no offense, but work on what emotions you put into it, what you say, and relate to what is written, and you'll do great.

Thank you, but poems come in many different perspectives, someone might have a different view

Bozark · Answer

@brokenmoon wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@brokenmoon wrote:

3/10

I would like you to tell me what I need to improve

just overall it needs.... more character

thank you, but poems come in many ways it depends on your point of view

Astrid1 · Answer

I understand that. But In my perspective, I just see this poem going nowhere but under the dirt.

I apologize if my opinion isn't  satisfactory, but yet, try a little bit harder.

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@brokenmoon wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@brokenmoon wrote:

3/10

I would like you to tell me what I need to improve

just overall it needs.... more character

I believe that is a bit too low for his poem. I think this poem is a 7/10, because it is good but it does need improvements.

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

Since i cant judge since i dont make good poems myself (i dont make poems but i know if i try i wont do so good.)

Bozark · Answer

@astrid1 wrote:

I understand that. But In my perspective, I just see this poem going nowhere but under the dirt. I apologize if my opinion isn't satisfactory, but yet, try a little bit harder.

Thank you for your feedback, but it is not needed, someone might see the poem in a different point of view, it cannot be judged by one person

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@brokenmoon wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@brokenmoon wrote:

3/10

I would like you to tell me what I need to improve

just overall it needs.... more character

I believe that is a bit too low for his poem. I think this poem is a 7/10, because it is good but it does need improvements.

Improvements depend on your point of view, if someone writes a poem about death, others might not see it that way

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@astrid1 wrote:

I understand that. But In my perspective, I just see this poem going nowhere but under the dirt. I apologize if my opinion isn't satisfactory, but yet, try a little bit harder.

Thank you for your feedback, but it is not needed, someone might see the poem in a different point of view, it cannot be judged by one person

Well actually it is needed, you have said "Rate my poem" which is what Astrid is doing. So you also saying "it cannot be judged by one person" doesnt make any sense because you saying "rate my poem" meaning that you want it to be judged.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@astrid1 wrote:

I understand that. But In my perspective, I just see this poem going nowhere but under the dirt. I apologize if my opinion isn't satisfactory, but yet, try a little bit harder.

Thank you for your feedback, but it is not needed, someone might see the poem in a different point of view, it cannot be judged by one person

Well actually it is needed, you have said "Rate my poem" which is what Astrid is doing. So you also saying "it cannot be judged by one person" doesnt make any sense because you saying "rate my poem" meaning that you want it to be judged.

If one person has a perspective, others might not have the same perspective

Bozark · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@astrid1 wrote:

I understand that. But In my perspective, I just see this poem going nowhere but under the dirt. I apologize if my opinion isn't satisfactory, but yet, try a little bit harder.

Thank you for your feedback, but it is not needed, someone might see the poem in a different point of view, it cannot be judged by one person

Well actually it is needed, you have said "Rate my poem" which is what Astrid is doing. So you also saying "it cannot be judged by one person" doesnt make any sense because you saying "rate my poem" meaning that you want it to be judged.

If one person has a perspective, others might not have the same perspective

so no improvements are not needed

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@astrid1 wrote:

I understand that. But In my perspective, I just see this poem going nowhere but under the dirt. I apologize if my opinion isn't satisfactory, but yet, try a little bit harder.

Thank you for your feedback, but it is not needed, someone might see the poem in a different point of view, it cannot be judged by one person

Well actually it is needed, you have said "Rate my poem" which is what Astrid is doing. So you also saying "it cannot be judged by one person" doesnt make any sense because you saying "rate my poem" meaning that you want it to be judged.

If one person has a perspective, others might not have the same perspective

so no improvements are not needed

this is true, others will not have the same perpective on what they think the rating of this poem is, but that does not mean that this poem does not need improvements. such as someone could say this poem is a 2/10 and someone could say its a 8/10, you cant push away that 2/10 and only glory that 8/10 and say this poem doesnt need improvements because that is not true, you have to see all of the ratings that has been given out and see what you can do to do better in the future.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@astrid1 wrote:

I understand that. But In my perspective, I just see this poem going nowhere but under the dirt. I apologize if my opinion isn't satisfactory, but yet, try a little bit harder.

Thank you for your feedback, but it is not needed, someone might see the poem in a different point of view, it cannot be judged by one person

Well actually it is needed, you have said "Rate my poem" which is what Astrid is doing. So you also saying "it cannot be judged by one person" doesnt make any sense because you saying "rate my poem" meaning that you want it to be judged.

If one person has a perspective, others might not have the same perspective

so no improvements are not needed

this is true, others will not have the same perpective on what they think the rating of this poem is, but that does not mean that this poem does not need improvements. such as someone could say this poem is a 2/10 and someone could say its a 8/10, you cant push away that 2/10 and only glory that 8/10 and say this poem doesnt need improvements because that is not true, you have to see all of the ratings that has been given out and see what you can do to do better in the future.

yes, but I know what I am doing, I have made over 20 successful poems, you cannot tell me I need improvements, when I know it is not necessary

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

If you think it is not necessary that this poem needs improvements, then you shouldnt say "rate my poem" because that is opening a door for people to say what improvements you need if they rate your poem low.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

If you think it is not necessary that this poem needs improvements, then you shouldnt say "rate my poem" because that is opening a door for people to say what improvements you need if they rate your poem low.

I will not take notes from one point of view, or a child like you

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

Please dont post your poems if your not going to appreciate people trying to help you out with what improvements you may need.

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

If you think it is not necessary that this poem needs improvements, then you shouldnt say "rate my poem" because that is opening a door for people to say what improvements you need if they rate your poem low.

I will not take notes from one point of view, or a child like you

Excuse me? I am not a child.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

Please dont post your poems if your not going to appreciate people trying to help you out with what improvements you may need.

Please, don't comment if you are not going to rate my poem,

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

If you think it is not necessary that this poem needs improvements, then you shouldnt say "rate my poem" because that is opening a door for people to say what improvements you need if they rate your poem low.

I will not take notes from one point of view, or a child like you

Excuse me? I am not a child.

well then, stop acting like one

ThatWeirdo · Answer

@bozark once you read i between the lines the pome is a whole big story. i love it and this inspires me to write more of my own

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

If you think it is not necessary that this poem needs improvements, then you shouldnt say "rate my poem" because that is opening a door for people to say what improvements you need if they rate your poem low.

I will not take notes from one point of view, or a child like you

Excuse me? I am not a child.

well then, stop acting like one

I am not the one acting like a child. i am simply telling that you shouldnt push away that you dont need improvements on this poem when you might need some.

Bozark · Answer

@thatweirdo wrote:

@bozark once you read i between the lines the pome is a whole big story. i love it and this inspires me to write more of my own

Exactly, thank you

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

If you think it is not necessary that this poem needs improvements, then you shouldnt say "rate my poem" because that is opening a door for people to say what improvements you need if they rate your poem low.

I will not take notes from one point of view, or a child like you

Excuse me? I am not a child.

well then, stop acting like one

I am not the one acting like a child. i am simply telling that you shouldnt push away that you dont need improvements on this poem when you might need some.

then don't comment, leave, otherwise this is spam

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@thatweirdo wrote:

@bozark once you read i between the lines the pome is a whole big story. i love it and this inspires me to write more of my own

Exactly, thank you

Now see, i agree with this, and i see you do as well, but you have to also understand and say thank you to the people who tells you you need improvements on your poem, its just someone being nice and telling you what you can do to make your poems better. Please dont just appreciate the high ratings but also the low ones as well.

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@thatweirdo wrote:

@bozark once you read i between the lines the pome is a whole big story. i love it and this inspires me to write more of my own

Exactly, thank you

Now see, i agree with this, and i see you do as well, but you have to also understand and say thank you to the people who tells you you need improvements on your poem, its just someone being nice and telling you what you can do to make your poems better. Please dont just appreciate the high ratings but also the low ones as well.

Please understand, if someone elected someone for president, it doesn't depend on that one person

Bozark · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

Sure, it doesn't depend on one person's vote so how come you keep biting back? They just put a complaint, so if that's what you don't like to hear don't post it. I like the poems, but other people may not.

Bozark · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

Sure, it doesn't depend on one person's vote so how come you keep biting back? They just put a complaint, so if that's what you don't like to hear don't post it. I like the poems, but other people may not.

yes, but if it is explained it might be understood

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

right, but you make it seem as if that "president" that rated good should be held higher then "president" that rated bad.

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

Sure, it doesn't depend on one person's vote so how come you keep biting back? They just put a complaint, so if that's what you don't like to hear don't post it. I like the poems, but other people may not.

Though critique is not based on individual thought, (personal thought), people can AND will post their opinion.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

right, but you make it seem as if that "president" that rated good should be held higher then "president" that rated bad.

well isn't that how elections work, wait yes it is, people have different point of views

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

Yes and you have to appreciate everyones points of views.

Bozark · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

Sure, it doesn't depend on one person's vote so how come you keep biting back? They just put a complaint, so if that's what you don't like to hear don't post it. I like the poems, but other people may not.

Though critique is not based on individual thought, (personal thought), people can AND will post their opinion.

they might, but they could change their mind if it is explained

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

I personally like these poems, but please don't shun/correct people who rate it low because you might not believe the same. Perhaps you wouldn't like to hear these complaints, but that's the beauty of critique.

yes, but you can't take pity on one person, as if a president was being elected, it doesn't depend on one person's vote

Sure, it doesn't depend on one person's vote so how come you keep biting back? They just put a complaint, so if that's what you don't like to hear don't post it. I like the poems, but other people may not.

Though critique is not based on individual thought, (personal thought), people can AND will post their opinion.

they might, but they could change their mind if it is explained

Yes, that's correct. But you seem to display your opinions very strongly, and people usually consider that disrespectful. I hope you understand.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

Yes and you have to appreciate everyones points of views.

If someone called you "ugly" would you accept that

Bozark · Answer

Your opinion is very important, but you have to understand, if someone built a new item that is a breakthrough but it has glitches but it took them forever, would you say that it is horrible

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

Yes and you have to appreciate everyones points of views.

If someone called you "ugly" would you accept that

well that is someones opinion and you have to accept that they think that. but someone calling someone else ugly isnt the same as rating this poem, you have to accept everyones point of view even if its bad to see what improvements you can do, you cant do any improvements what you look like if someone calls you ugly.

Bozark · Answer

lets say you like a someone so you wrote a song for them, and they said it was terrible, you would be heartbroken, and that opinion could hurt you

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

It's how people learn how to improve though. It's extremely rude, and people don't need to word it like that but yeah.

Bozark · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

It's how people learn how to improve though. It's extremely rude, and people don't need to word it like that but yeah.

NooodlesAndRiceYT is acting very childish, and shouldn't comment on something so advanced that he doesn't understand

afflatedAnimism · Answer

I love it a lot :D

Bozark · Answer

@afflatedanimism wrote:

I love it a lot :D

thank you

afflatedAnimism · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@afflatedanimism wrote:

I love it a lot :D

thank you

Mhm!!

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

Your opinion is very important, but you have to understand, if someone built a new item that is a breakthrough but it has glitches but it took them forever, would you say that it is horrible

well i would say that the item is fine but that it does need a whole lot of improvements, such as what other people would do. but just like for this as well, these two things isnt the same. im sure this poem took you time, but im also sure it didnt take you "forever" and you can make a new poems just as well as the one you have made.

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

It's how people learn how to improve though. It's extremely rude, and people don't need to word it like that but yeah.

NooodlesAndRiceYT is acting very childish, and shouldn't comment on something so advanced that he doesn't understand

...you have to understand i am not acting childish, just simply stating a point out.

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

Your opinion is very important, but you have to understand, if someone built a new item that is a breakthrough but it has glitches but it took them forever, would you say that it is horrible

well i would say that the item is fine but that it does need a whole lot of improvements, such as what other people would do. but just like for this as well, these two things isnt the same. im sure this poem took you time, but im also sure it didnt take you "forever" and you can make a new poems just as well as the one you have made.

They are the same

Bozark · Answer

@noodlesandriceyt wrote:

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

It's how people learn how to improve though. It's extremely rude, and people don't need to word it like that but yeah.

NooodlesAndRiceYT is acting very childish, and shouldn't comment on something so advanced that he doesn't understand

...you have to understand i am not acting childish, just simply stating a point out.

Childish, you don't understand that poems are like music, there are all types of music, and people have their opinion, example, I hate rap, that doesn't mean you hate rap

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

Also, this debate has no relevance towards this topic because the people in mind did not state it to sound rash, at least not intentionally.

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

Also, this debate has no relevance towards this topic because the people in mind did not state it to sound rash, at least not intentionally.

Not from what I've seen, if there's someone who offended you tell me exactly what they said.

Bozark · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

Also, this debate has no relevance towards this topic because the people in mind did not state it to sound rash, at least not intentionally.

ok, ok, I'll give you that one, but it could have a deeper meaning

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@bozark wrote:

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

Also, this debate has no relevance towards this topic because the people in mind did not state it to sound rash, at least not intentionally.

ok, ok, I'll give you that one, but it could have a deeper meaning

Mhm, this is where I take my leave. This debate has no relation towards the comments so this is spam. Hope you understand by now.

noahconnelly · Answer

@bozark  your poem is really deep and like powerful

Bozark · Answer

@noahconnelly wrote:

@bozark your poem is really deep and like powerful

thank you

honeylove · Answer

I think its good even tho it is short