Question

I finished my essay 🤪

In loving memory of my bsf Caleb Jenkins ❤

Answer 1

Death. The action or fact of dying or being killed; the end of life of a person. That's the definition of it, or at least the Webster's dictionary version of it. Death to me is a moment in life where everything changes. Everything is more depressing and it feels like the world just stops. Death changes everything especially when you find out about it through a text.
Caleb and I were best friends and he was the only one I could talk to. He was like a brother to me. We would talk to each other about everything, including the fact that his stepdad, Jeremy, was sexualy assaulting him. From what he told me, he only did it when he was drunk, which was almost always. He wanted to tell somebody but he couldn't. I wanted to tell somebody, which is what a best friend would do, but he didn't want me to. Plus he moved to Ohio last year so there wasn't much I could do anyways.
His stepdad found out that he had told me about what was happening so he had beat him for it. The sexual assault stopped for some time tho because when we were on the phone Jeremy wouldnt come around because he didnt want me to confront him about it. So Caleb and I would go to sleep on the phone and the sexual assault had stopped for a little while. Until I got my phone taken away. I didn't like thinking about what was happening to him while I didn't have my phone but I couldn't help but imagine that he was going through a lot.
I would go over to my cousin's house any chance that I got because that was the only time I could talk to him. But of course my mom did not always let me go. I couldn't even tell her the reason why I wanted to go over there because when I get my phone taken away, she doesn't like me on any electronics. None of my family members knew about Caleb so sometimes when I went over there my cousin would be petty and wouldn't let me use her stuff because she thought I was trying to talk to my boyfriend. Only if she knew the truth.

I still remember that tragic day like it was yesterday. I had found a way to text him by using my chromebook that I used for school. It was almost winter break and it was my freshman year of highschool. This is when the corona virus was at its peak, so we really didn't go anywhere and we were doing virtual school. The school had blocked Instagram and Discord so there was no way of me texting him. But finally I had gotten my phone back, only to read that dreadful message. “Hi, this is Caleb’s cousin. I'm sorry but he passed.” I was so confused. Why? When? How? I had so many questions that needed to be answered. The main one being who tells somebody that through a text message. That's what really hurt me the most.
“How did he die?” I asked, still confused, tears in my eyes. I had so many emotions flowing through my body at once, I just didn't know what to do and how to handle it. I was mad, frustrated, confused, and sad all at the same time. Confused because why would Caleb do something like that. Mad and frustrated because I found out through a text and the worst part about it is I couldn't even tell my mom about it because I don't know how she would react. If she would comfort me and tell me everythings going to be ok, or if she's going to yell at me and be mad because I was using the chromebook to text people. I was sad for obvious reasons.
Caleb’s cousin had told me that he committed suicide but he didnt know why. I instantly knew exactly why but I didn't say anything. I felt my whole body get hot and at that point I wanted to do some unforgivable things to his step dad, Jeremy, and I wouldn't regret not one bit of it. I don't want to get into all the details on how he killed himself because this is still an emotional topic for me even though it's almost been three years.
After that, my grades started going down drastically, and I know that isn't an excuse not to do my school work and get my education, but I was depressed. I was even failing Physical Education when that was the easiest class because all we had to do was join the zoom so he could get out attendance. Everything just got worse and went downhill from there. I did some stuff I shouldnt have but that's a different story for a different time. I wouldn't eat, but when I did I ate a lot. I was either stress eating or starving myself. I really couldn't sleep, I mean I already couldn't sleep before that but now I was probably only getting two hours of sleep at night.
My mom's brother, my uncle, is a Physical Education teacher, track coach, and a substitute teacher. So of course when my grades started going down she called him. Everytime he came over they would talk to me about my grades and I was trying to do better but everything reminded me of him. My uncle and my mom were basically calling me stupid and lazy because I was failing all my classes. “In my gym class all you have to do is come to class and get dressed. So that means you are literally choosing not to do the work.” He would say the same thing everytime. My mom thought I was playing around on the chromebook and watching movies, which i did play a game or two, but that's not why my grades were going down.
The progress reports were sent to the parents and I'm not even going to say what my GPA was, just know it wasn't good. I didn't have any freshman credits and my mom and my uncle kept calling me a failure. If i'm being honest i don't know how they couldn't figure out something was wrong because every year I had all A’s. The year before I had 3.99 GPA but all of a sudden my grades were horrible and they couldn't figure out something was wrong.
Let's just recap for a moment. Remember when I said I didn't want to tell my mom because I was pretty sure she wasn't going to be a loving sweet parent and comfort me at my times of need? Well yeah that's exactly what happened. She called me a liar and she didn't believe me. She told me that all I do is lie and she doesn't know when to believe me, which I don't know who would lie about something like that but her mind is twisted and she’s paranoid and always thinks somebodys trying to “play her” (as she likes to say). Then she asked my sisters about it, and I don't know why because I didn't tell them everything, and they told her I was lying. Of course she believed them over me and of course when I asked them about it they changed their story. “Oh, that's not what I said,” and, “She twisted up our words.” But they are some liars too and I know for a fact that they told her I was lying but I didn't even care anymore. She wouldn't even give me a hug and that's crazy.
Let's fast forward a little bit to now. Now she wants to ask me questions and now she wants to believe me. But when I needed her she called me a liar. When I needed her to just tell me that everything was going to be ok, she told me that I never tell the truth and how she was supposed to believe me. When all I needed was a simple hug, nobody was there to give it to me because Bella never gets hurt and Bella knows how to deal with things, but in reality I don't.
I tried to blame everybody for his death. I blamed my mom for taking my phone away. I blamed myself because I started to think that if I really cared about him I would have tried my best to contact him, which I did. I blamed my sisters for always getting me in trouble. I blamed my cousin for not letting me talk to him. I obviously blamed Jeremy because this wouldn be happening if it weren't for him. I wouldn't even be writing this right now if it weren't for him. At some point in time I even blamed Caleb for not telling anybody, for not waiting for me to come back. Then I came to the conclusion that it wasn't anybody's fault really (other than the fact that it actually was Jeremy’s fault). People die sometimes and that is okay. It takes a while for you to stop feeling sad about it and realize that the person is in a better place but eventually everything will be alright. Of course you shouldn't just stop thinking about it, but stop thinking negatively about it.
I know when I started this essay, I said a lot of negative things about death. I witnessed a lot of deaths in my life but Calebs death… Caleb's death helped me see. His death helped me see life more clearly. His death made me realize that anybody can be gone with the blink of an eye. We never know when somebody's time is up. So we should enjoy the little moments. Enjoy the happy memories you make with people because one day that's all they will be. A memory.
In loving memory of Caleb Jenkins and may he rest in peace ❤
(P.S. I cried while writing this so I should really get an A)

Answer 2

Whoa

Answer 3

Thats was a lot but good (:

Answer 4

Thx 😁

Answer 5

This is impressive. Good job!

Answer 6

This is impressive. Good job!

Answer 7

Wow! You had to have got a 100% its very detailed for each topic! Great work! You deserve a celebration!

Answer 8

Thx

Answer 9

WOW> TOO MUCH. BUT IT'S VERY GOOD.

Answer 10

that's a lot of reading but its good

Answer 11

Very

Answer 12

Thx

Answer 13

r.i.p

Answer 14

srry for ur loss

Answer 15

AWESOME 👏

Answer 16

Took a long to read hehe

Answer 17

We had to write 4 pages but i accidentally wrote 5 almost 6. But for some odd reason i have writers block when it comes to my book

Answer 18

2 to 3 pages extra woww (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Answer 19

Lol yup

Answer 20

lol