Yes, I know this isn't that good. But I want some honest feedback. Also, I need a title for it. What should I call this?
Your face lights up my soul,
No wonder you’re my goal.
I wish I could speak the truth,
But how can I show my proof?

As I watch you walk away,
I sob knowing that there is no way.
Are we meant to be?
The answer is always a maybe.

I know what will happen next,
Something to do with your ex.
Why is love so hard?
All it does is leave me scarred.

I run away to my place,
All I need is time and space.
Thoughts come in my head,
As I start to dread.

So is this the last,
I guess I’ll look back in the past.
How do I say goodbye
“Hey! Look out!” Bullseye.

(Basically, the ending means she got hit..and yk,💀)

Question

Yes, I know this isn't that good. But I want some honest feedback. Also, I need a title for it. What should I call this? 
Your face lights up my soul,
No wonder you’re my goal.
I wish I could speak the truth,
But how can I show my proof?

As I watch you walk away,
I sob knowing that there is no way.
Are we meant to be?
The answer is always a maybe.

I know what will happen next,
Something to do with your ex.
Why is love so hard?
All it does is leave me scarred.

I run away to my place, 
All I need is time and space.
Thoughts come in my head,
As I start to dread.

So is this the last,
I guess I’ll look back in the past.
How do I say goodbye
“Hey! Look out!” Bullseye.

(Basically, the ending means she got hit..and yk,💀)

chuckthedonut · Answer

Thoughts?

MidniteSunny · Answer

I think it should b named Bullseye. Anyways tho it wasnt ze beeeeeest ive heard but also not ze worst by far (there hav been some real oddballs ive seen rip). gj C: 
also dis isnt about chu ish it ? bcuz dat ending was pwetty morbid and i'd like to ask if ur alright if it ish ur story

chuckthedonut · Answer

@midnitesunny wrote:

I think it should b named Bullseye. Anyways tho it wasnt ze beeeeeest ive heard but also not ze worst by far (there hav been some real oddballs ive seen rip). gj C: also dis isnt about chu ish it ? bcuz dat ending was pwetty morbid and i'd like to ask if ur alright if it ish ur story

It's just basically about love that I've seen/heard. My love I have is just horrible. My heart always feels broken with pain. So I really wanted to show that in my work. And tysm for being honest. Everything is/will be okay :)

chuckthedonut · Answer

Also thanks for the suggestion, I'll keep it in mind :D

chuckthedonut · Answer

@lars, @renne, @oliver69, @arieonna what do you think ?

Sandy99 · Answer

it looks great keep up the great work <3 <3 <3

chuckthedonut · Answer

@sandy99 wrote:

it looks great keep up the great work <3 <3 <3

Awww !! Tysm !! That means a lot to me !! <3 <3 <3

Sandy99 · Answer

@chuckthedonut wrote:

@sandy99 wrote:

it looks great keep up the great work <3 <3 <3

Awww !! Tysm !! That means a lot to me !! <3 <3 <3

yw

Lars · Answer

Good work. Keep writing, you've got potential! :]

chuckthedonut · Answer

@lars wrote:

Good work. Keep writing, you've got potential! :]

Thanks bsfff !! :D <3

Lars · Answer

@chuckthedonut wrote:

@lars wrote:

Good work. Keep writing, you've got potential! :]

Thanks bsfff !! :D <3

Ofcc

Renne · Answer

I love it your words sound confidant and true and from the heart and as long as you keep that up as you always do your poems and writing will always be great!<33

chuckthedonut · Answer

@renne wrote:

I love it your words sound confidant and true and from the heart and as long as you keep that up as you always do your poems and writing will always be great!<33

Awww, that made me smile sm, thank you so much bsfff, ily smmmm <333

Renne · Answer

@chuckthedonut wrote:

@renne wrote:

I love it your words sound confidant and true and from the heart and as long as you keep that up as you always do your poems and writing will always be great!<33

Awww, that made me smile sm, thank you so much bsfff, ily smmmm <333

Npp bsfffff<333

chuckthedonut · Answer

@renne wrote:

@chuckthedonut wrote:

@renne wrote:

I love it your words sound confidant and true and from the heart and as long as you keep that up as you always do your poems and writing will always be great!<33

Awww, that made me smile sm, thank you so much bsfff, ily smmmm <333

Npp bsfffff<333

<333