A poem I made for school. I made it about my gf. Also it's in image form bc I didn't want to retype it lol

Question

baconway · Answer

attachment

baconway · Answer

Also im terrible at punctuation so if I did it wrong tell me lol

baconway · Answer

Also ik it's cringy but oh well

bryanna2006 · Answer

its good just add a bit more

baconway · Answer

I was in a rush but I will add more and repost eventually

bryanna2006 · Answer

ok

Wankle1222 · Answer

nothing but straight gas

OLIVER69 · Answer

I do like it. And for poem's punctuation isn't all that important. As long as it makes sense and has some sort of theme. And from this poem, I get the theme is love/passion/romance. But one thing I would change is the third line, "She was broken she needed to mend" to "She was broken and needed to mend,". It sounds a little better like that to me. Other than that this is really good. So keep up the good work and have a nice day. ^_^

JorjaWood08 · Answer

thats very sweet

StrawberryGoddess · Answer

You did amazing on the poem buddy keep up the good work :>

baconway · Answer

@oliver69 wrote:

I do like it. And for poem's punctuation isn't all that important. As long as it makes sense and has some sort of theme. And from this poem, I get the theme is love/passion/romance. But one thing I would change is the third line, "She was broken she needed to mend" to "She was broken and needed to mend,". It sounds a little better like that to me. Other than that this is really good. So keep up the good work and have a nice day. ^_^

Thank you! I will update it and add more in the future. I will add this change bc you are correct it does sound better

baconway · Answer

@wankle1222 wrote:

nothing but straight gas

Thank you!

baconway · Answer

@strawberrygoddess wrote:

You did amazing on the poem buddy keep up the good work :>

Will do. Thanks!

dontmesswitnova · Answer

OMG that is so sweet

dontmesswitnova · Answer

did u show here it

Jeremana73 · Answer

@baconway wrote:

Also im terrible at punctuation so if I did it wrong tell me lol

punctuation doesn't matter with poetry. I LOVE that poem! My only suggestion is in situations like "we found our way through all the decay" I would skip the word "the" because it would keep the same amount of syllables as the next line, which would give the whole poem a boost in rhythm. I cannot emphasize enough how AMAZING that poem is! I am FLABBERGASTED by that writing!

Jeremana73 · Answer

@jeremana73 wrote:

@baconway wrote:

Also im terrible at punctuation so if I did it wrong tell me lol

punctuation doesn't matter with poetry. I LOVE that poem! My only suggestion is in situations like "we found our way through all the decay" I would skip the word "the" because it would keep the same amount of syllables as the next line, which would give the whole poem a boost in rhythm. I cannot emphasize enough how AMAZING that poem is! I am FLABBERGASTED by that writing!

Hearts forged to meet, Nigh to pretend shortening and lengthening of lines to create consistency That's just my preference though. Everybody likes different writing styles, but a consistent sense of rhythm usually makes your work sound a hell of a lot better.

baconway · Answer

@dontmesswitnova wrote:

did u show here it

Yes I did, she loved it. Also thank you!

baconway · Answer

@jeremana73 wrote:

@baconway wrote:

Also im terrible at punctuation so if I did it wrong tell me lol

punctuation doesn't matter with poetry. I LOVE that poem! My only suggestion is in situations like "we found our way through all the decay" I would skip the word "the" because it would keep the same amount of syllables as the next line, which would give the whole poem a boost in rhythm. I cannot emphasize enough how AMAZING that poem is! I am FLABBERGASTED by that writing!

Hearts forged to meet, Nigh to pretend shortening and lengthening of lines to create consistency That's just my preference though. Everybody likes different writing styles, but a consistent sense of rhythm usually makes your work sound a hell of a lot better.

Thank you so much!!! I will definitely take all that into consideration for the future

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