https://www.quotev.com/story/16233132/The-Runner
Hi recently finished writing a few, had this on miscellanious incase it wasn't allowed in writing, am putting it in writing to see if it's allowed

Question

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

please let me know what to work on and your opinions

Aliciaa · Answer

1 sec

Aliciaa · Answer

looks good

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@aliciaa wrote:

looks good

Thank you

luhivqqcherry · Answer

your story is amazingly detailed, and it brings flashbacks 😝🌟 .

Aliciaa · Answer

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@aliciaa wrote:

looks good

Thank you

mhm

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

your story is amazingly detailed, and it brings flashbacks 😝🌟 .

thank you, am tempted to when im done which will be in 2 or 3 more chapters to add a chapter where I move all the referrance poems to, I primarily have them where they are to help me remember them since the source of them is dead

luhivqqcherry · Answer

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

your story is amazingly detailed, and it brings flashbacks 😝🌟 .

thank you, am tempted to when im done which will be in 2 or 3 more chapters to add a chapter where I move all the referrance poems to, I primarily have them where they are to help me remember them since the source of them is dead

your welcomeee !! and remind me when you finishhh .

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

your story is amazingly detailed, and it brings flashbacks 😝🌟 .

thank you, am tempted to when im done which will be in 2 or 3 more chapters to add a chapter where I move all the referrance poems to, I primarily have them where they are to help me remember them since the source of them is dead

your welcomeee !! and remind me when you finishhh .

Will do, when I'm finished I'm tempted to try getting it published as an online ebook for cheap, around $1-$2 with a $.50 extra for an audiobook version that also has a spoken prologue added to the warnings

luhivqqcherry · Answer

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

your story is amazingly detailed, and it brings flashbacks 😝🌟 .

thank you, am tempted to when im done which will be in 2 or 3 more chapters to add a chapter where I move all the referrance poems to, I primarily have them where they are to help me remember them since the source of them is dead

your welcomeee !! and remind me when you finishhh .

Will do, when I'm finished I'm tempted to try getting it published as an online ebook for cheap, around $1-$2 with a $.50 extra for an audiobook version that also has a spoken prologue added to the warnings

omg that sounds so amazingg, ik my grandparents would lovee to read your storyy !! .

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

your story is amazingly detailed, and it brings flashbacks 😝🌟 .

thank you, am tempted to when im done which will be in 2 or 3 more chapters to add a chapter where I move all the referrance poems to, I primarily have them where they are to help me remember them since the source of them is dead

your welcomeee !! and remind me when you finishhh .

Will do, when I'm finished I'm tempted to try getting it published as an online ebook for cheap, around $1-$2 with a $.50 extra for an audiobook version that also has a spoken prologue added to the warnings

omg that sounds so amazingg, ik my grandparents would lovee to read your storyy !! .

thank you so much, I'll make sure to PM you when it's done

luhivqqcherry · Answer

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:

your story is amazingly detailed, and it brings flashbacks 😝🌟 .

thank you, am tempted to when im done which will be in 2 or 3 more chapters to add a chapter where I move all the referrance poems to, I primarily have them where they are to help me remember them since the source of them is dead

your welcomeee !! and remind me when you finishhh .

Will do, when I'm finished I'm tempted to try getting it published as an online ebook for cheap, around $1-$2 with a $.50 extra for an audiobook version that also has a spoken prologue added to the warnings

omg that sounds so amazingg, ik my grandparents would lovee to read your storyy !! .

thank you so much, I'll make sure to PM you when it's done

yayy, and your welcomeee !! .

umm · Answer

Hey there! Here’s some general advice to include if you’re interested! Just know, it’s completely up to you since you’re the one writing it off of the personal perspective of your grandfather.

Just from the first chapter: Approach

Include in about hostile environment; describing the tough conditions in the southern deserts and mountains, focusing on the scorching heat and challenging landscapes.

Soldier bonding/relationships; it allows readers to grasp either friendliness and/or unfriendliness among fellow soldiers, portraying shared moments and unspoken connections.

War in Artuinsk; give a brief depict the civil war in Artuinsk, emphasizing the chaos and conflict.

Military Setup; outline the basic structure and collaboration of the 113th Motorized Guards Division with other units.

Personal thoughts/opinions; allow characters (in this case, your grandfather), time to briefly reflect on their thoughts and motivations.

Sounds and sense; point out key sounds like APCs and helicopters, and incorporate sensations like dust and vibrations for immersion.

Foreshadowing; include subtle hints about future events to build anticipation.

Hidden enemies (?) Explore the psychological impact of him possible facing an unseen enemy in the mountains.

Leadership challenges; consider different challenges faced by your grandfather as a leader in unfamiliar territory.

If you ever need anymore ideas, you’re more than welcome to tag me. (: So far, it looks great.

5starflexer · Answer

W

snowie · Answer

The story was amazing, keep up the hard work

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@umm wrote:

Hey there! Here’s some general advice to include if you’re interested! Just know, it’s completely up to you since you’re the one writing it off of the personal perspective of your grandfather. Just from the first chapter: Approach Include in about hostile environment; describing the tough conditions in the southern deserts and mountains, focusing on the scorching heat and challenging landscapes. Soldier bonding/relationships; it allows readers to grasp either friendliness and/or unfriendliness among fellow soldiers, portraying shared moments and unspoken connections. War in Artuinsk; give a brief depict the civil war in Artuinsk, emphasizing the chaos and conflict. Military Setup; outline the basic structure and collaboration of the 113th Motorized Guards Division with other units. Personal thoughts/opinions; allow characters (in this case, your grandfather), time to briefly reflect on their thoughts and motivations. Sounds and sense; point out key sounds like APCs and helicopters, and incorporate sensations like dust and vibrations for immersion. Foreshadowing; include subtle hints about future events to build anticipation. Hidden enemies (?) Explore the psychological impact of him possible facing an unseen enemy in the mountains. Leadership challenges; consider different challenges faced by your grandfather as a leader in unfamiliar territory. If you ever need anymore ideas, you’re more than welcome to tag me. (: So far, it looks great.

Thank you so much, I will make sure to work on all of that, since approach mostly takes place in the real life counterpart of south eastern Uzbekistan/south western Tajikistan I will make sure to emphisize dust and sand, my grandfather was known to be a recluse in his unit only really talking to his childhood friend and neighbor who in the story is Sergei, he was an officer and though this did make him in a position of leadership, most of what he would describe doing was telling troops where to go in combat which he described as being difficult enough since he was also a Designated Marksman in the division, thank you however nonetheless, I will make sure to incorporate your advice to help build the story more

Ragtagirly · Answer

ok

Kyky232 · Answer

damn quotev just sent me BACK

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@kyky232 wrote:

damn quotev just sent me BACK

lol, hope you enjoyed nonetheless, I'm currently working on some edits, when I'm done I'm gonna find something I can use to publish it on an official website, is there any critisisms?