I tried to write a horror story.. here's how it went.

It was a school night and I'd just arrived home from school. I did what I usually did and put my things away, did my chores, and waited for my parents to return home for the night. It seemed like I was waiting for hours but only minutes had passed. I began to worry when there was no sign of my parents after a few hours. I paced around the room, biting on my finger when I heard a ‘thud’ coming from my backyard. The noise startled me so, I jumped in surprise, I ended up grabbing a knife from the kitchen and a flashlight. As I headed outside I could hear more thuds coming from the shed, I slowly got closer to the shed. I reached my shaky hand up to the door knob and twisted it. The scene that I saw right in front of me made me freeze in fear. The knife and flashlight that was in my hands dropped to the ground. I breathed shakily as I backed away from the shed, tears began to stream down my face as horrific screams left my lips. I stared at my parents' lifeless bodies hanging from chains, each of them had limbs missing as if they’d been torn off by some sort of unhuman force. Just as I was about to run inside and call ‘911’ I heard a rustle in the bush behind me, but by the time that I turned around I was too late. I was knocked to the ground and held in place, I soon realized that this force wasn’t human at all. It had no face and its hands weren’t human like at all, the hands were slim and sharp and there was blood covering them. I breathed shakily as the ‘thing’ traced my face with its slim razor-like hand, it began to add more pressure, puncturing my face and cutting me from my forehead all the way to my neck. I let out blood curdling screams as I was in excruciating pain. “Pl-please.. Just kill me already.” I pleaded, just wanting the pain to end. Instead of doing what I was begging for, the thing vanished in thin air, it left me there in pain. It wanted me to feel this pain for as long as I lived and it left me a reminder. I quickly got up on my feet and ran into my house and called the cops, I explained what happened and they arrived 5 minutes later. I ended up staying with my aunt after the incident happened, but everytime I look in the mirror i’m reminded about that night and what could have been my doom.

Question

I tried to write a horror story.. here's how it went.

It was a school night and I'd just arrived home from school. I did what I usually did and put my things away, did my chores, and waited for my parents to return home for the night. It seemed like I was waiting for hours but only minutes had passed. I began to worry when there was no sign of my parents after a few hours. I paced around the room, biting on my finger when I heard a ‘thud’ coming from my backyard. The noise startled me so, I jumped in surprise, I ended up grabbing a knife from the kitchen and a flashlight. As I headed outside I could hear more thuds coming from the shed, I slowly got closer to the shed. I reached my shaky hand up to the door knob and twisted it. The scene that I saw right in front of me made me freeze in fear. The knife and flashlight that was in my hands dropped to the ground. I breathed shakily as I backed away from the shed, tears began to stream down my face as horrific screams left my lips. I stared at my parents' lifeless bodies hanging from chains, each of them had limbs missing as if they’d been torn off by some sort of unhuman force. Just as I was about to run inside and call ‘911’ I heard a rustle in the bush behind me, but by the time that I turned around I was too late. I was knocked to the ground and held in place, I soon realized that this force wasn’t human at all. It had no face and its hands weren’t human like at all, the hands were slim and sharp and there was blood covering them. I breathed shakily as the ‘thing’ traced my face with its slim razor-like hand, it began to add more pressure, puncturing my face and cutting me from my forehead all the way to my neck. I let out blood curdling screams as I was in excruciating pain. “Pl-please.. Just kill me already.” I pleaded, just wanting the pain to end. Instead of doing what I was begging for, the thing vanished in thin air, it left me there in pain. It wanted me to feel this pain for as long as I lived and it left me a reminder. I quickly got up on my feet and ran into my house and called the cops, I explained what happened and they arrived 5 minutes later. I ended up staying with my aunt after the incident happened, but everytime I look in the mirror i’m reminded about that night and what could have been my doom.

ExclusiveKim · Answer

I love it!!!

iAmTsUkKi · Answer

thank you smm <33

PureSoulless · Answer

It's cool, but a bit too basic.

ExclusiveKim · Answer

@puresoulless wrote:

It's cool, but a bit too basic.

No.

ExclusiveKim · Answer

dont listen to him. iAmTsUkKi

PureSoulless · Answer

Hey, I'm not here to start some argument, I just stated my opinion.

PureSoulless · Answer

Do what you like, I'm just sayin, it looks a bit basic to me.

iAmTsUkKi · Answer

@puresoulless wrote:

It's cool, but a bit too basic.

yeah, maybe so. It was my first time attempting to write something that has something to do with horror. thank you for letting me know your thought on it.

PureSoulless · Answer

@iamtsukki wrote:

@puresoulless wrote:

It's cool, but a bit too basic.

yeah, maybe so. It was my first time attempting to write something that has something to do with horror. thank you for letting me know your thought on it.

c:

iAmTsUkKi · Answer

^^

snowie · Answer

it's awesome

iAmTsUkKi · Answer

@snowie wrote:

it's awesome

thank youu <33

snowie · Answer

@iamtsukki wrote:

@snowie wrote:

it's awesome

thank youu <33

Np :3

StrikerDeFreak · Answer

Spooky

Alanaaaaaaa · Answer

You should continue to the story you know

rthrth · Answer

@puresoulless wrote:

It's cool, but a bit too basic.

I agree. it is basic, but basic can be good, like this story

Uniful3 · Answer

bone chilling..0-0

Robno49 · Answer

I f.uck with it heavily bro I thought you were some author great grammer and everthing. credit when credit due

JaeBae · Answer

thats pretty good. dont give up on ur writing, ur heading somewhere

Pshycowolf111 · Answer

i love it

Ravenous · Answer

Sum slight

Maramaria · Answer

its good.

iAmTsUkKi · Answer

@maramaria wrote:

its good.

thank you ^^

Maramaria · Answer

yw

xcoledd1 · Answer

really fascinating

toga · Answer

It is good. Keep going, and you will get better at it.

KyledaGreat · Answer

Damn, that was seriously messed up! I was totally freaked out reading the whole thing. The way you set it up, coming home and waiting for your parents so normally at first, really sucks the reader in and makes it feel so much scarier when things start going wrong.

I thought the detail of finding your parents all torn up in the shed was insanely gruesome. I could practically picture it and it gave me chills! Really establishes the horror vibe from the get-go. And then having that thing sneak up on you after,Jesus that part had my heart racing. I'd be laying awake wondering what the hell was really out there, you know?

I really liked how descriptive you got too, I could almost see the whole scene play out in my head like a movie. The thing tracing your face all bloodied up - Evil dude, just brutal! And the way you wrote its hands all sharp and alien, creepy as hell. Left me wondering what it really even was, which is perfect for a story like this. Keeps the reader guessing.

Honestly your writing is just top notch. The way you build suspense and know how to really unsettle people with your descriptions is a real talent. Not sure I'd be able to sleep at night coming up with stuff like this! But it's definitely gonna keep people hooked for sure. You should totally try publishing your stuff somewhere, I bet people would eat it up. Keep it coming, always down to read more scary stuff from you!