Question

Hey, I made a poem. Could you guys read it and tell me what they think of it, give advice, and/or helpful criticism? Also, could you guys help me think of a good name that will fit with what the poem is about?

Answer 1

All I see is pain
The weight pulling against me is too great.
Can’t control the day
Set fire to rain
Watch everything burn to flames
Corruption and segregation fill the hate
Fate gives to those who take.


The world beats you down to the ground
Get up! Make your ancestors proud.
Keep fighting, our son is our horizon.
No word is left unspoken.
In these times, we provoke it.
Leave people desperately choking.
Leave your demons dying.


I’ll stand up for what’s right.
Even if I stand alone
Why you sit up on that throne
You wish you were king
You lie through your teeth
There’s no man without his word,
You wouldn’t die for me


If you want to know how I feel,
You can read it in a verse
I don’t care how you think of me,
You don’t know my worth
Black or white, I don’t care.
Divide us 'cause they know that unified we are invincible.
This country is what we resemble.

To god I pray
Keep our world safe
Through these tough days
Protect us through your religion.
Give us faith
Protect us from the devil.
And his evil ways

Answer 2

I think you're supposed to capitalize the word "god" but otherwise its pretty generic but well written

Answer 3

Oh yeah, I didn't see that error. Wym by generic? Also, any ideas for what I should call it?

Answer 4

do you mind if I make a couple edits and send it back and you can see what you think?