Question

Could someone read my essay and give me some criticism?

Answer 1

Here's my essay

Answer 2

It's also about wrestling by the way. Just in case that helps someone out.

Answer 3

Th main thing I'm looking for is if the essay can be understood, has good grammar, etc.

Answer 4

To begin this essay,

Answer 5

I'm still reading though

Answer 6

2nd paragraph. "And finally," add the ","

Answer 7

2nd page 1rst paragraph.... "Contain a pad;" add ;

Answer 8

Sounds good though!!!

Answer 9

sounds nice :>

Answer 10

keep working on it!

Answer 11

looks like a work application tho xD

Answer 12

lol ikr XD well okay.. "criticisms" from me (based on gut feelings! so may not be always right!)

- "can help your safety, control, and skill development." this sentence in first paragraph doesn't sound quite right. maybe adding the "can help WITH your.." helps?

Answer 13

"Three points for a takedown, one point for escape, and if you can get something called a near-fall." okay the 2nd half of this sentence (which is at the beginning of paragraph 2) doesn't sound complete. i cant give a suggestion on this part because im unsure what exactly are u trying to say 😅

Answer 14

"Not just for your safety, but for your opponent’s safety, and the people around you, like the coach and/or referee"

okayyy there is nothing 'wrong' with this sentence, but it can be improved on. like for example, "the people" can be replaced with "those"

Answer 15

math is easy for some, but then hard for others. yk how those who are good at math/science tend to do worser in ela/history and vice versa? yeah everyone got strengths and weaknesses

and i'd be a garbage WOMAN lol dont assume my gender. also teaching is fun, not necessarily a high-income job, but if i still gotta choose a no-fun job, might as well choose one that pays higher than the garbageman type of jobs

and thanks abound

Answer 16

lol thats nice, miris. i literally have a 78 in history rn ;-; and the final is today (gonna take it later, since its an online course)

yeahhh idk i consider this one of my hobbies XD i meann a lotta others from this site helped me before (including this person who made this post) so ig its a way of repaying back this questioncove site. but yeah its fun loll

Answer 17

oh waitttt a minute. its 10 pages long 💀 im so blind lol well.. guess imma just scam through it..

the sentence that talks about rules for highschool wrestling (yeah highschool is together, no - in between), u might want to shorten the sentence so that others can understand better (yk, like me lol) also the "You" should be lowercased, because you're not quoting or starting a new sentence or anything. also, the transition needs a bit of work where u said "wrestlers cannot wear wristbands, sweatbands, bicep bands or arm sleeves that do not contain a pad, they now will be able to wear leg sleeves that do not contain a pad, " (yeah its just confusing me)

Answer 18

okay im back. so

"All moves mentioned may have alternative or similar but have something different that goes into them. Or have multiple names for them" does not sound right. like i reread it a buncha times and still dont get what its saying ;-;

another place that sounds wrong is "... your bones and muscles are cold, which can injure you easier." but then im not too confident on what to add or change (like the term easier to easily??)

okay, and again, dont capitalize the "Double" since its not a new sentence or anything (in the paragraph that talks about takedowns being the most executed move)

Answer 19

This essay lacks clear structure, proper grammar, and consistent academic tone, making it difficult to follow and significantly weakening its credibility. The organization is messy, with abrupt topic shifts and poorly defined transitions between sections. Numerous grammatical errorssuch as run-on sentences, fragmented thoughts, and misused punctuation undermine clarity and professionalism. Repetition and informal language like “don’t get me wrong” or “getting hurt sucks” detract from the informative purpose and sound juvenile. While the content demonstrates passion for wrestling, it reads more like a rough draft or personal speech than a formal instructional essay. To improve, the writer must revise for coherence, use proper paragraph formatting, eliminate casual phrasing, correct grammar, and provide credible sources in a complete and accurate "Works Cited" section