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Writing 35 Online
xXMarsXx:

His ABC's. A is for how attractive you were. B is for how you went behind my back. C is for how claustrophobic you made me D is for how da** irritating you were. E is for how you were my everything. G is for the other girls H is for how you betrayed me like Hamlet did I is for I am not okay J is for how jammed up we were K is for your responses L is for how I loved you M is for how I thought we were monopoly N is for no, which you seemed to not know O is for okay, my response when I finally gave in P is for please, please stay here with me Q is for quitting, like you finally did R is for our reactions S is for Wizardty, how you often made me feel T is for trying, though I didn't do too good U is for how you spelled out "i love u" V is for very, very in love W is for why? why did you go X is for xtra, how you said i was. Y is for yes, you said yes to me Z is for zero, zero promises you kept.

luhivqqcherry:

this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).

xXMarsXx:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.

Breathless:

ngl turn this into a song

AsianPanda08:

Don't tell the lil kids this or they'll be the depressed one asw 😭🖐️

luhivqqcherry:

@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
ok? but there are different ways and better ways to structure this poem or song, there are better ways to write and describe your feelings in better ways for a better poem or song overall

Lui0210:

@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.

zanesafoodie:

@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,

Twaylor:

1 attachment
Twaylor:

good book

luhivqqcherry:

@zanesafoodie wrote:
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.

zanesafoodie:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.
oh don't worry I get it, I wasn't trying to say you NOT allowed to give criticism, I was trying to get her point across but don't worry I get it

zanesafoodie:

@zanesafoodie wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.
oh don't worry I get it, I wasn't trying to say you NOT allowed to give criticism, I was trying to get her point across but don't worry I get it
your*

xXMarsXx:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
its not a song, its my thoughts, my emotions, my work and i want it the way it is
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
ok? but there are different ways and better ways to structure this poem or song, there are better ways to write and describe your feelings in better ways for a better poem or song overall

xXMarsXx:

@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
its not spam lol its my writing. i posted to share, i usually like critisim but somet things i dont
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.

xXMarsXx:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
i mean no loll, its my work. smt i want to keep the way it is. think whatever you want but i ask that you dont give your opinion here, i wrote it this way for a reason, the words are what they are for a reason. im allowed to post my writing w out getting critisim.
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.

Breathless:

holy yap

luhivqqcherry:

@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
i mean no loll, its my work. smt i want to keep the way it is. think whatever you want but i ask that you dont give your opinion here, i wrote it this way for a reason, the words are what they are for a reason. im allowed to post my writing w out getting critisim.
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.
you cant choose whether you want or don't want criticism. If you post a poem or a song, you're gonna get criticism. so if you don't want it, don't post it lol.

xXMarsXx:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
i mean no loll, its my work. smt i want to keep the way it is. think whatever you want but i ask that you dont give your opinion here, i wrote it this way for a reason, the words are what they are for a reason. im allowed to post my writing w out getting critisim.
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.
you cant choose whether you want or don't want criticism. If you post a poem or a song, you're gonna get criticism. so if you don't want it, don't post it lol.
i kind of can though? why are you so defensive abt it anyway? its not your work. i wrote this. and ur like "okay but like i dont like it" okay well its not yours loll, sorry that i dont want your critisism?? i wrote it the way i did FOR A REASSOONNN gng

luhivqqcherry:

@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
i mean no loll, its my work. smt i want to keep the way it is. think whatever you want but i ask that you dont give your opinion here, i wrote it this way for a reason, the words are what they are for a reason. im allowed to post my writing w out getting critisim.
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.
you cant choose whether you want or don't want criticism. If you post a poem or a song, you're gonna get criticism. so if you don't want it, don't post it lol.
i kind of can though? why are you so defensive abt it anyway? its not your work. i wrote this. and ur like "okay but like i dont like it" okay well its not yours loll, sorry that i dont want your critisism?? i wrote it the way i did FOR A REASSOONNN gng
I'm not defensive about it, im telling you that you can't tell someone else they can't criticize your work. If you post it, it's gonna get criticized, and I never said I didn't like it. I literally said it was nice?

Breathless:

I think luv is winning this argument so. lets wrap this up ladies.

xXMarsXx:

@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
all i did was tell u i didnt want criticism, i said i liked it the way it was lol and for some reason u so mad ab it
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
i mean no loll, its my work. smt i want to keep the way it is. think whatever you want but i ask that you dont give your opinion here, i wrote it this way for a reason, the words are what they are for a reason. im allowed to post my writing w out getting critisim.
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.
you cant choose whether you want or don't want criticism. If you post a poem or a song, you're gonna get criticism. so if you don't want it, don't post it lol.
i kind of can though? why are you so defensive abt it anyway? its not your work. i wrote this. and ur like "okay but like i dont like it" okay well its not yours loll, sorry that i dont want your critisism?? i wrote it the way i did FOR A REASSOONNN gng
I'm not defensive about it, im telling you that you can't tell someone else they can't criticize your work. If you post it, it's gonna get criticized, and I never said I didn't like it. I literally said it was nice?

xXMarsXx:

@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
all i did was tell u i didnt want criticism, i said i liked it the way it was lol and for some reason u so mad ab it
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
@zanesafoodie wrote:
i mean no loll, its my work. smt i want to keep the way it is. think whatever you want but i ask that you dont give your opinion here, i wrote it this way for a reason, the words are what they are for a reason. im allowed to post my writing w out getting critisim.
@lui0210 wrote:
@xxmarsxx wrote:
@luhivqqcherry wrote:
this poem or maybe song? is really nice, but here's some criticism. or things i think you should change about it. some of the letter lines are a little generic. push for more original and unique ideas about your relationship, and a few lines are a little confusing and awkward. the best type of abc poems have some type of rhythm. like some of your lines are strong others are not. try and give your lines a more similar structure so they can flow better. the emotional poem jumps from pain, nostalgia, and accusations. if you would give it a more better structured emotional journey it flow wayy better! (and the hamlet thing you should change because hamlet is betrayed more often).
hey so i wasnt asking for critisism. this is about my relationship and my emotions.
If you weren't looking for criticism then why post it? That's the point of asking/posting questions. Otherwise it would just be spam.
NGL I get that this is an educational site but the fact we cant post stuff without looking for criticism is kind dumb NGL idk I might just be being biased though, this is a post about her emotions and relationship, if she was looking for criticism she would of clearly stated so,
Okay, but still, I'm telling her there are better ways to convey your emotions in this poem. And you are a slight bit biased because posting a poem open for everyone to see means you're gonna get criticism. I also fully understand that this is about her feelings and relationship, but I'm still allowed to give criticism regardless of whether she asked or didn't ask.
you cant choose whether you want or don't want criticism. If you post a poem or a song, you're gonna get criticism. so if you don't want it, don't post it lol.
i kind of can though? why are you so defensive abt it anyway? its not your work. i wrote this. and ur like "okay but like i dont like it" okay well its not yours loll, sorry that i dont want your critisism?? i wrote it the way i did FOR A REASSOONNN gng
I'm not defensive about it, im telling you that you can't tell someone else they can't criticize your work. If you post it, it's gonna get criticized, and I never said I didn't like it. I literally said it was nice?
all i did was tell u i didnt want ur criticism;-;

Breathless:

then dont- look at it?-

Strawberryluna:

Bri

Strawberryluna:

Is yu don't want critics then don't posy here there are several other media's to post if yur js sharing. And they weren't being rude js simply sharing some friendly advice. Yall need to grow up fr

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