Rewrite the following sentence to eliminate flowery language.

The night fell pitch black, quiet, and lonely across my saddened, searching heart, and as I walked out under the round, full, awesome, luminescent moon, I wondered whether my best friend, who was everything to me, would ever forgive me, would ever stoop so low as to call little old me again.

Would it be: The night fell quiet as I was sad walking around the under the moon. I wondered if my best friend would ever forgive me from stooping so low to call me little old again?

Question

Rewrite the following sentence to eliminate flowery language.

The night fell pitch black, quiet, and lonely across my saddened, searching heart, and as I walked out under the round, full, awesome, luminescent moon, I wondered whether my best friend, who was everything to me, would ever forgive me, would ever stoop so low as to call little old me again.

Would it be: The night fell quiet as I was sad walking around the under the moon. I wondered if my best friend would ever forgive me from stooping so low to call me little old again?

anonymous · Answer

The night became dark and quiet as I walked with a heavy heart under the full moon wondering whether my best friend would ever forgive me and call me again.

anonymous · Answer

The night was quiet as I walked, broken hearted, under the full moon, wondering if my best friend would forgive me, and call me again.