Question

please give honest opinions of this piece: Timeless Harmony

At night, odd things come about. The air thickens and beholds a rather mystical tone that expands across everything; the shadows stretch out of proportion, creating shadows of doubt and fear to blossom. Everything that was once so ordinary and harmless becomes ominous in this growing twilight. Sounds echo and bounce off of eachother, while eyes watch from every corner.
Its not just a tone and mood that's created but a whole other world. One that does not have boundaries and restrictions which we have come to know and accept.

Answer 1

Where darkness rules, and light is scarce.
One that's bittersweet and forlorn, as if from a time long ago. In a way its like looking back at a time when nothing was clocked and scheduled in, but ran at its own speed, in tune with everything around it.
To look up at the sky, the stars seem vast and endless. They go on forever, billions of them. So easily can one get lost inthem, studying them for hours and hours....
And while the stars twinkle, the sounds of rustling can be heard, The awakening of the creatures that cannot be seen by day. Some come out slowly, slithering into view painstakingly slow; while others burst through the leaves of trees, granting only glimpses here and there. And yet others stay put, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.
Thus rythm, this movemnt of life is an endless cycle. It goes on repeating itself day after day. So calm and peaceful a pattern this is; so natural. The wind rustles through the grass, sending ripples of green cascading in every direction. As the moon reaches its western tip, the sun begins to color the sky.
And so it goes....

Answer 2

I really like this. Good visuals and adjectives. The only thing I didn't like was the line, " ...looking back on a time when nothing was clocked and scheduled in, but ..." I like the last part about in tune, but maybe you could say something like, " ...when nothing was timed or scheduled, but ran..." Not that exactly, but "...clocked and scheduled in..." seems to modern, and breaks the pseudo trance the rest of the writing has. Otherwise, I like it very much. It is really good.

Answer 3

thank you for your opinion. i appreciate it :)

Answer 4

wow this is very well written.....a lot of visual details...makes you stop and think a bit :)

Answer 5

thankyou. i try to make my writing the way i see it in my own perspective - so it stands out a bit :)

Answer 6

It's beautiful

Answer 7

:) i try to write what i draw or see. so thankyou

Answer 8

Well it is fantastic. Thanks for posting. c: