I hide in the shadows, shaking and scared. My misery hidden,but always there. My blood pours onto the clean,white floor. While society nags at me, I cut more. Deeper and deeper the sharp blade goes. Darkness is the only place i glow. Evils my friend good does not prevail.if fallings a sin,send me to hell. You cannot win...my demons have conquered. My soul is lost....Are you are willing to pay the final cost.

Question

I hide in the shadows, shaking and scared. My misery hidden,but always there. My blood pours onto the clean,white floor. While society nags at me, I cut more. Deeper and deeper the sharp blade goes. Darkness is the only  place i glow. Evils my friend good does not prevail.if fallings a sin,send me to hell. You cannot win...my demons have conquered. My soul is lost....Are you are willing to pay the final cost.

anonymous · Answer

This is rather... ah, I don't mean to offend or whatever, but it's incredibly depressing.

Anyway, what do you need critique on this or what? :)

anonymous · Answer

I think that this is a very interesting emotional peice. I write stuff like this, but I would use better punctuation and spacing. It adds effect.