Question

Can you go over a speech for my school project?

Answer 1

My best friend? It’s a long story. Let me clue you in.
My mom is the secretary at Lake Swamp Baptist Church. They had just gotten a new pastor; I was outside on the swings when on the one other swing a little girl caught my eye. She looked familiar, with red hair and blue eyes. Her name, you ask? Cora. She was the new pastor’s daughter. At the time, I was eight and she was six. I knew already I would spend my summers with her.
During summer vacation, school holidays, winter and spring break; I would come to work with my mom. Being the pastor’s daughter, she lived next door to the church in the parsonage. I would go outside and sit on the swing and wait. As soon as she saw me from her window she would run outside, and being that the church was in a small town without many kids, we became instant friends.
We could talk for hours, and run around and play. It seems we had an endless energy supply. We did this about every day both of us were off school, and since I go to work with my mom regularly, after school was over, I went outside and as soon as she finished homework, she would come out.
During the summer of 2011, her father no longer worked at the church. They had to move out or the parsonage, witch uprooted our friendship. Sometimes I feel like we’re talking to each other with those can and string phones, but were so far apart, we can’t hear a thing.
The bottom line is, the best friends in your life can be for a short period of time. It doesn’t change how great a friend they were.

Answer 2

it HAS to be on a friend and it want's things like what other people say about your friend and I could send you a link to a rubric, but I go to an online school so I don't really have another friend to write about.

Answer 3

mostly I need someone to go over grammar and spelling an making sure I have the correct 'were'.

Answer 4

good. i like it, except one typo "they had to move out Of the parsonage." good job

Answer 5

Thanks.

Answer 6

Criteria Score Comments
3
Met
criteria 2
Partially met criteria 1
Did not meet criteria
Focus • The speech is focused.
• The speech’s purpose is clear.
• The speech uses supporting details effectively.
Ideas • Details develop the speech’s purpose.
• Details show how the main character feels.
Organization • The speech is organized into a beginning, middle, and ending.
• The introduction grabs the listeners’ attention.
• The ending retells the main reason for the speech and brings the speech to a close.
Word Choice • The speech includes interesting details and relevant stories or anecdotes.
• The speech includes transition words and phrases to smoothly move from point to point.
Conventions • The speech includes correct spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement.
• The speech includes correct pronoun usage.
• The speech includes correct usage of the apostrophe.
TOTAL POINTS: /15
I know it's a bit hard to read but it's the rubric.

Answer 7

Here is my version of it with another paragraph

Answer 8

My best friend? It’s a long story. Let me clue you in.
My mom is the secretary at Lake Swamp Baptist Church. They had just gotten a new pastor; I was outside on the swings when on the one other swing a little girl caught my eye. Her name, you ask? Cora. She was the new pastor’s daughter. At the time, I was eight and she was six. I knew already I would spend my summers with her.
During summer vacation, school holidays, winter and spring break; I would come to work with my mom. Being the pastor’s daughter, she lived next door to the church in the parsonage. I would go outside and sit on the swing and wait. As soon as she saw me from her window she would run outside, and being that the church was in a small town without many kids, we became instant friends.
She was a bit crazy, and had the silliest ideas. She had bright strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. She was pretty thin, and a bit shorter than me. She liked a lot of colors but her favorite color was white. She loved to sing and dance no matter how silly she looked.
We could talk for hours, and run around and play. It seems we had an endless energy supply. We did this about every day both of us were off school, and since I go to work with my mom regularly, after school was over, I went outside and as soon as she finished homework, she would come out.
During the summer of 2011, her father no longer worked at the church. They had to move out of the parsonage, witch uprooted our friendship. Sometimes I feel like we’re talking to each other with those can and string phones, but were so far apart, we can’t hear a thing.
The bottom line is, the best friends in your life can be for a short period of time. It doesn’t change how great a friend they were.