Question

Hi I Wrote An Essay and Turned It In to my teacher and He Gave Me This Feed Back. "Revisit this and touch it up. Where's a proper title? You bring up a lot of great stats but generalize them all. Striking increase in divorce rate... what's the rate? Why is it striking? There are tons of examples of this through the essay. Give more detail."

Can Someone Explain To Me What He Means and Maybe Check Over My Essay? If I Post It.

Answer 1

i'll be right on it when u do :)

Answer 2

Well for one I agree with u’re teacher that there’s are good stats but I think what he needs u to o is to prove this examples u have given for instance when u say there has been a striking increase in divorce rates then u should show how it has changed over time

Answer 3

tell me if this makes sense b4 i go on

Answer 4

i think u need to use like percentages to show figure stats to be clear and reinforce ure argument

Answer 5

Ure argument needs to be stated in the intro as well cause that way the reader understands what ure getting at…

Answer 6

first off you remember who you are writing for? second you need to more clearer in what you are saying and not just stats and tell why they are inport to know.

Answer 7

let me ask what type of paper is this?

Answer 8

Cause and Effect

Answer 9

okay.. think about causes of this issue? expaand and write them out. Next put what effect it has on kids, friends and so on..

Answer 10

Also in your opening also must show this same thing.

Answer 11

also trans in your eassy so people know when you are switching back and forth

Answer 12

Thanks :) this help alot!