Question

I wrote a 350 words text but I'm really bad in English, can anyone just take a look to see if there're any obvious errors... I couldn't see any anymore :S

Answer 1

http://pastebin.com/23pmgHwb

Answer 2

I don't think you're bad at English. There are some minor mistakes that are commonly made, and nothing drastic. I'll point out the mistakes, though:

The reason he keeps it, not giving it to the police means he’s not a very rich man and he needs this kind of money. < Here, you're adding a detail with 'not giving it to the police', should end with another comma to show that it's a detail and to keep the flow of the sentence.
While it's not technically incorrect, you will want to change 'so much detail' to 'many details', because it is logical that in a book there is bound to be more than one, if that makes sense.
'mean' in the sentence after that one should be changed to 'represent'; the meanings are different, 'represent' is probably better.
In 'She wears it with her wherever', 'with' should be 'on'. This is just an English-specific relation between clothing and the person; you should use 'with', generally.
' has became' should be 'has has become', which sounds weird, but is correct in conveying the meaning of the sentence. It would add coherency to also add 'and' before '
only the golden chain remains as intact as ever.'
When using 'if', you usually must use conditional tense (would could should). So in 'if he’d ever seen the chain, there’s a possibility that he’d put it in his own pocket,' 'he'd put it in his pocket' should be 'he would have put it in his pocket'.
In 'when Ronnie asks him if he has seen a gold chain, he might instantly suspected Chris', you jump tenses - first you use the present with 'asks' and then use past tense with 'suspected'. Try changing 'suspected' to the present tense, using 'suspect'. Same for 'regretted'. Also, 'hid' should be 'hidden'.
'Pushes' is the wrong verb - the journalist publishes, not pushes.

A stylistic thing may be combining some of the sentences to make longer, more complex sentences, but I don't think it's a major problem.

I thought you had good analysis and hope that you continue to write! You also have a good connection with English, so don't worry about it too much. :)

Answer 3

thank u so much for ur time and effort, really appreciate that!