Can someone critique my first paragraph of my college essay.
Prompt:Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.
First paragraph:
Growing up in a predominantly African American neighborhood, exposure to diversity was not present in my early years of life. I was ignorant of the many cultures and backgrounds existing in this huge, melting pot of a country. Despite my upbringing, I still consider diversity to be a very vital element to the journey called life. I’ve seen the Camden Rutgers campus numerous times. It’s really a wonderful sight to watch people of different races and cultures working together. I hope to become a part of that environment. I want to be able to learn from other’s experiences to better myself and share some of my own.

Question

Can someone critique my first paragraph of my college essay. 
Prompt:Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.
First paragraph:
Growing up in a predominantly African American neighborhood, exposure to diversity was not present in my early years of life. I was ignorant of the many cultures and backgrounds existing in this huge, melting pot of a country. Despite my upbringing, I still consider diversity to be a very vital element to the journey called life. I’ve seen the Camden Rutgers campus numerous times. It’s really a wonderful sight to watch people of different races and cultures working together. I hope to become a part of that environment. I want to be able to learn from other’s experiences to better myself and share some of my own.