Question

Please... read my story and comment.?
You can also decide how should I move the story.
Pleeeeaaaase! http://www.wattpad.com/7778495-a-tale-of…

Answer 1

The whole link isn't there.

Answer 2

Anna is right, your link cuts off with an ellipsis.

Answer 3

But if u copy & paste this half link, u can go there. ok, here it is
http://www.wattpad.com/7778495-a-tale-of-friends

Answer 4

Is English your second language? You word things a little strangely... i.e. " 'Ok! But how can we go & search inside the sea,' asked Sara"

You need to expand on the details of what's going on and try to make the dialogue a little more casual, it seems very scripted and fake which isn't what you want to portray in a story.

Answer 5

Ya English is my second language. A small help, can u correct the story? I mean you said I should make it more casual. Can u make it so?