Question

so i wrote a short love story, it takes maybe 30 seconds to read
would any1 tell me their thoughts on it?
i just want peoples opinions theres no right/wrong answer
and eh english section is inactive
so a boyfriend calls up his girl friend
boyfriend: hey babe
girlfriend: oh hey wasup babe
boyfriend: honey we need to talk
girlfriend: oh wasup?
boyfriend: i have herpes, i really think you should get your self checked out
girlfriend: oh my god
boyfriend: will you stay with me?
girlfriend: what?
boyfriend: will you stay with me even knowing that i have herpes?
girlfriend in depressed voice: yes....
boyfriend: babe
girlfriend: yes hun
boyfriend: i dont have herpes.... i just needed 2 know if you'd stay with me

Answer 1

Yea, it’s pretty good, but i would consider using a disease like cancer. Herpes is not as severe as cancer is. It would make the poem sound a bit more drastic and sound more devastating.

Answer 2

but herpes = can b given to some1 else... get how its better?

Answer 3

Wow thats really funny in a way...and soo sweet...!! Thats shows the they are in love, even though he faked something like tht:)<3

Answer 4

I agree, herpes is good enough.

And nice story, by the way, @Goten77 . I like it.

Answer 5

its so sad ;'(