Question

New song Check it out! (:

Answer 1

This generation
has me contemplating
about what imma do with my life.
I wanna follow my families foot steps
But I wanna rap my own reps
Be me n' show people who i am
I want people to listen to my music and say damn
I want to be the kid everyone looks up to
Show everyone what I have been through
What my sins do
I dont want people to make my mistakes
N' have their parents' hearts ache
I want my parents to be proud
I want to hear the crowd go loud
when they listen to what i have to say
But you gotta meet me half way
Listen to my music
give me one chance
I promise I will become advance
Even when i dance
I may be white.
N' thanks alright
Cause my personality is just as bright

Answer 2

Need feedback?

"Show everyone what I have been through,
What my sins do"

is kinda a break in the lyrics.

"Give me one chance,
I promise I will become advance,
Even when I dance"

is also a little off. Furthermore, "become advance" isn't grammatically correct.

Aside from that, I can't find any other mistakes. However, I don't really.. deal with.. rap.

Answer 3

coolcool

Answer 4

Shanks and yea it was supposed to be more advance but whatever. I litteraly typed what i was thinking

Answer 5

Hey, sounds great, flows nice too I like it :)

Answer 6

Thanks as soon as I get in the booth i will have a cd so yea

Answer 7

Hey, this is great! I enjoyed the message. Also, I understand what that guy meany about "off" but in rap, you can do so many things with the way you pause or say certain words to make it fit. Great job!!!!

Answer 8

Thank you!

Answer 9

Of course! I really enjoyed it. Thanks for telling me about this! :D You should get it copyrighted. I explained how you do that here:

Answer 10

http://openstudy.com/study#/updates/511ec7e5e4b06821731c28e1

Answer 11

ok thanks

Answer 12

it would sould pretty cool if it was a rap

Answer 13

My'n?

Answer 14

@owen97

Answer 15

what?

Answer 16

What did you mean by you last comment "it would sound pretty cool if it was a rap" Are you referring to my rap lol?

Answer 17

lol i never knew it was a rap lol
or is it?

Answer 18

Ha yes yes it is (:

Answer 19

o...k i love to rap lol

Answer 20

Good to know lol

Answer 21

i guess.... i acn rap "look at me now"

Answer 22

So can i lol and running with an ak47

Answer 23

never heard it

Answer 24

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiF5PrMJEDU
I can rap this

Answer 25

i will look at it later

Answer 26

mmk

Answer 27

good rap needs more than just skill it needs a beat

Answer 28

Yup i will get that soon I am getting in the booth in a couple weeks.

Answer 29

This is really good but it needs a good beat

Answer 30

Yea I will get in the booth when i get more money!

Answer 31

Your good but get in a better mood.
We need change im not worried about the fame
Im just trying to get in the rap game.
The rap was nice , but im sorry i got to put your in your place.
Keep on pace the rap was nice but it was made by an amateur.
Try harder next time , i win everytime cuz im a baller haha

Answer 32

I agree with JlongSwag27 its a nice rap but something about don't seem right. It changes the readers mood or how they see how they felt.