Question

hey guys im entering a poetry contest and i wanted your opinions.
should i enter this poem, or write another?
please read and comment!

Answer 1

Hometown Glory
I'm here to tell you a story,
of a place that has no glory.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the free show..
grades are getting low,
and teens are getting high.
that 12 year old is pregnant and her parents wonder why.
a 1st grader is swearing,
not a single parent is caring.
a 3rd grader has been raped.
Shes lucky she escaped.
She lets the monster run wild and free,
he rapes another girl yet manages to stay unseen.
She prays with her psalms,
To scared to tell her mom.
This story is so long overdue,
just take a look around you,
look at all these children's fate,
isn't the system great?
who isn't faded these days,
living life in a haze.
Out in the world for unlimited views,
teens are sending nudes.
Getting caught and socially rejected.
kids are getting beaten, sadly even neglected.
the teachers see the bruises-
and you wonder why he uses.
no calls for help are spoken,
lips with seals left, unbroken.
teens are smoking weed,
laughing while they bleed,
young girls are cutting,
bullying is psychologically gutting.
Many people living without creed,
this isn't what we need.
the marks of taunt and yelling,
the memories remain dwelling.
parents are divorced,
and happiness is forced.
that 14 year old is drinking beer,
my message should be clear.
Maybe this is all a curse,
this can't get any worse.
a little girl has killed herself,
no longer living in good health.
nobody seems to care,
Just ignore the signs when they blare.
this needs to change, our world is officially broken.
it's time to take a stand, your thoughts need to be spoken.

Answer 2

wow thats deep, yeah I like it

Answer 3

http://imghumour.com/assets/Uploads/Seal-of-approval.jpg

Answer 4

ahahah its cute!

Answer 5

wow that's really good :)

**quick note!
She prays with her PALMS,
TOO scared to tell her mom.

i just fixed the only typos i saw in all caps :)

really deep poem! it totally defines the world today, and i love how u told it into such a smooth flowing and great poem.... fantastic poem!! DEFINITELY enter this!! it's reality in a nutshell... :)

and lol @poopsiedoodle i totally agree with ur seal of approval hahahahahaha Lol!!

Answer 6

iheart food, psalms are a religious thing.
she isnt praying to trees..

Answer 7

but thank you <3

Answer 8

palms as in the palm of your hand.

Answer 9

not trees.

Answer 10

wow that was really..... eye opening..... i hope you win :)

Answer 11

hahah i see.. my bad.. and yeah what @poopsiedoodle said.. i thought you meant she was praying with the palm of her hand.. not like palm trees hahaa

Answer 12

and no problem :) its a good poem!

Answer 13

thank you guys!

Answer 14

i won first place guys!

Answer 15

Congrats!!! :)

Answer 16

It was a really great poem! :) Good job!

Answer 17

Thanks guys(: you helped a lot!