Question

I have to do an example of a poem and this is one, please can you help me find any errors grammatically and/or better transitions?

Answer 1

I will always have my bad days,
And many know my sad days,
While I sit in the sun’s rays trying to cheer myself up;
With another one of those Tuesdays holding the lemonade in my cup,
I see a can being kicked down the street by a man’s cleat.


I stare and stare without a care,
I dare myself that comparing me with the can might be fair,
No reason there may be in my sight,
But I take one long look and it felt like a bite;
There I see that there is light even during my bad days.


I see that this can is as useless as a snail in a horse race,
But I am not useless and believe in what I chase but things are just at a pace and must wait;
This can also has a fate as bad as worm bait,
I do not believe I have a bad fate because I feel that I did not form that way,
The can is given a direction because either way this can will go;
It will go as far as a dust bunny under my bed will see,
But for me it's different;
I can choose where to be.

Answer 2

From what I am able to see after a quick look the grammar looks correct. I also really like what you did with this poem! Great images. I can picture them in my head