Question

I need help fixing up my thesis statement:
Music is more than just a form of entertainment. Music is a form of therapy and art of expression. When music artists write the lyrics to their song they are expressing their feelings to their listeners or write what's going on with the society. Through culture, we are provided the tools we need to deal with challenges of everyday life. Music therapy does help anyone, the way it helps is that it helps with your health, rebuilds your mental stability and helps your performance from the way you act.
- i need a strong thesis for an argumentativ essay.

Answer 1

Musical therapy can promote better health, rebuild mental stability, and increase your work performance.

I would also suggest combining some sentences, like the first on for example, you should write this instead; "Music is more than just a form of entertainment, it is a form of therapy and art of expression."

I think it sounds better that way.