is this good:
A community is a group of people that make decisions together. Usually a group is formed by a small community council. They represent an area of the community. The most important things to change in my community are the health, housing, and the education.

Question

is this good:
A community is a group of people that make decisions together. Usually a group is formed by a small community council. They represent an area of the community. The most important things to change in my community are the health, housing, and the education.

anonymous · Answer

It's fairly short, and your thesis isn't really supported by the rest of the intro. You need to find a way to lead up to the thesis, maybe say something like: 

The small community council makes decisions on what to change in our communities.

Your intro speaks of one thing and then BOOM right in my face is a thesis about something that wasn't even mentioned, making changes in your community. You really need to connect the ideas a little more so that change thing doesn't seem so out of the blue. Also try adding a little more content, it's fairly short for an intro.

Hope this helps.

anonymous · Answer

thank you, i was writing this in a rush this morning.

anonymous · Answer

Glad to help :) click "best response" if you think it is deemed so