Question

how many hours do i have to cry,
slit my wrists,
waiting to die?

i can't stand the looks,
the pain the hate or the lies,
can't take any more,
you tell me that it is alright.


any suggestions on improvement on my intro?

Answer 1

@emiianto, @Emo*FAITH*, @Ryaan, @ChrisJP, @chaylacryder, @summerforever21, @BulletWithButterflyWings

Answer 2

Is it gon be screamed?

Answer 3

no idea yet, i don't think so though, its more like the song "welcome to my life"

Answer 4

:[ pm me link i'll listen when i get home :D

Answer 5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt0WP9ZBNiY

Answer 6

Medal for creative talent ;)

Answer 7

thanks man

Answer 8

got any ideas for lyrics for the first verse?

Answer 9

hmmm take out "the" before "lies"? it might sound smoother

Answer 10

@Virgil sorry i forgot you man

Answer 11

hm.... maybe.... it doesn't sound right to me though

Answer 12

ope xD sawwry

Answer 13

maybe if i put the part where it says hate at the last part, then rewrite it to where i say:

you try to save me,
but by then it is too late

maybe that will work?

Answer 14

the pain, hate or, lies,
can't take any more, you tell me that it's alright." ?? My ears want to hear this but i dunno how its gonna be sung yet :c

Answer 15

put it to the tune of welcome to my life, and there you go, thats basically how it'll be sung... sorta...

Answer 16

i can't stand the looks,
the pain the lies or the hate
then you try to save me,
but by then it is too late.

Answer 17

any better?

Answer 18

What is the song about? Betrayal?

Answer 19

no, just a song about basically wanting to die

Answer 20

its really messed up in my head man

Answer 21

>.> i get it all. musicians come with all diff flavors

Answer 22

I'll let it sit in my mind..math wants me though xD

Answer 23

ok ttyl chris

Answer 24

As far as the Intro goes, did you want "it is" to sound very distinct like that, or perhaps make it into a conjunction "it's".

Answer 25

I'm not much of a lyrics guy, I just sing some and play bass.

Answer 26

Maybe u could also change "it is too late" to "its too late" to make it sound more smooth as well :) Best of luck! ^_^

Answer 27

that wasn't part of my lyrics austin, i was just telling chris that i'm messed up in my head, as in i'm emo?

Answer 28

How many hours do I have to cry?
Slit my wrists,
and wait to die?

I can't stand the looks,
I can't stand the pain
I can't stand the hate or the lies,
And when I can't take any more,
you tell me that it's alright.

Perhaps something like this?

Answer 29

However, I just changed it from an intro into more of a verse....

Answer 30

sounds good, but i changed it up a bit earlier in the convo, idk if you saw it, but i'll post it here again


i can't stand the looks,
the pain the lies or the hate
then you try to save me,
but by then it is too late.

Answer 31

hey so i got into the mood and wrote...
Fu*k your fu*king opinions
Your life is one of many, insignificant and puny
You're fu*king stupid not to realize
One day we've all got to die
as mankind is sent spiraling
into an eternal inferno
im tethered to its conscious, left to suffer in its wake
this reality has no authority on my ethereal fate
no reason
my death is the ultimate treason
to your madness lies and confusion

Answer 32

idgaf if you use any but thats how your song makes me feel

Answer 33

whoah, thats not directed towards me is it?

Answer 34

Nah :P

Answer 35

wooow, thats .... awesome...

Answer 36

right now, i'm just completely blown away

Answer 37

just write in from your heart and feel it

Answer 38

it*

Answer 39

wow... i did write it from the heart, but jeez... never seen someone so.... sophisticated and emotionally into music?

Answer 40

for this i had to get angry at my existence. i dint write it until i was actually angry...my secret :D

Answer 41

dayum......

Answer 42

idk i just play guita xD

Answer 43

i'm more vocal myself

can't play an instrument to save my life

Answer 44

Some of the phrasing is a little rough, you may need to break up some of the lines to make it flow. But very nice!

Like that song that you posted, the lyrics are
97879, which has a nice flow to it.

Answer 45

becoming an artist is a process, alot of mess ups and mistakes but worth it

Answer 46

do you ever feel like commitin' suicide,
like nobody cares,
taking a razor to your neck,
but you don't even dare

can't do it cause your too scared,
too many people in your life,
but you take away the pain,
with one stroke of a knife.

Answer 47

idk just wanted to do something cool

Answer 48

Lyrics, however dark, are like poetry. They typically fit a form, so that it has a nice flow. You can change the form from verse to bridge to chorus to verse, and intro and outro can be different as well. I would try and pick a style to follow.

Answer 49

emo hardcore lol

Answer 50

jk more like verse to chorus for me

Answer 51

Kimune that up there was good

Answer 52

you like it?

Answer 53

honestly you haven't seen anything

Answer 54

i think it had thought and feeling in it. more inner turmoil

Answer 55

Oh you have more :D

Answer 56

plenty more, that is nothing compared to what i've felt lately, thats watered down, not straightout pour

Answer 57

I shall leave you two to it. I am more Irish Rock, I am not good with this sort of lyrical work lol. You have a nice day now.

Answer 58

Dropkick murphies!

Answer 59

later austin, thanks for your ideas

Answer 60

who?

Answer 61

Yeah, that was the style of the band I was in. Dropkick Murphy's, Flogging Molly, angry music, but fun.

Answer 62

irish hardcore punk rock

Answer 63

But we literally played every genre in our act. It was part of it. We would play an evolution of music.

Answer 64

aaaaaahhh, drunk you drunk, you silly old drunk, drunk till you cannot see.. thats the baby boy a laying there, me mother gave to me...

Answer 65

random irish drinking song

Answer 66

Shipping Up to Boston, you should give it a listen. We played that every show.

Answer 67

i'll take a look at it later, thanks man

Answer 68

@Loujoelou you got any suggestions while your in here?

Answer 69

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsxcZol_FEE
Here is a link, now I have to go for real. Later.

Answer 70

later

Answer 71

later is never enough,
now i cannot see,
people hate me for who i am,
but i will never leave

Answer 72

;) just an idea

Answer 73

Haters gon hate xD

Answer 74

fame monsters love haters lol

Answer 75

You should make music about violently killing people xD

Answer 76

sorry man avenged sevenfold already has that down

Answer 77

must have stabbed her 50 fuc*ing times, i can't believe it, ripped her heart out right before her eyes, such a reject, eat it eat it eat it eat it!!!

Answer 78

bring your daughter to the slaughter c:

Answer 79

yeah... i'll never be able to compare to them

Answer 80

wow.... where'd you come up with that?

Answer 81

IronMaiden xD my fav band

Answer 82

just 2 let you know, this profile pic isn't really what i look like chris

Answer 83

@snorl4x

Answer 84

good band chris, i don;'t listen to them often, i'm more for rise against, bvb, bmth, and 3 days grace

Answer 85

... hello?

Answer 86

math :c

Answer 87

gah math sucks, me right now? world history

Answer 88

^_//

Answer 89

i'm surprised that no one else has posted a question for music after mine...

Answer 90

When i get home ill own music with my guitar ^_^

Answer 91

do some recordings, then hit me up with a link ok?

Answer 92

hey chris what stat e you live in?

Answer 93

state*

Answer 94

TEXAS

Answer 95

dang... i was hopin michigan so i could start up a band

Answer 96

@Machida

Answer 97

gonna see waht mach thinks about this so far