Question

Can you guys give me a opinion on a song i wrote....i wrote it a few years back and i think it might be good to become a real song....

Answer 1

Sure

Answer 2

yes

Answer 3

Dont go riding in the halloween park.
Cuz its too scary, stayin out after dark,

You never know what you might see,
in the bushes all over the trees.
You never know what you might find.

Look out! Its monster time.
Chorus-i think its time that it should be halloween.
With the goblins and ghosts,
and the monsters that make you scream.
(Ahhhhh)

Oh the vampire teeth,
and the ghost in the sheets,
and the kids sayin trick or treat
(trick or treat) (end chorus)

Repeat Chorus..

(1,2,3)

Boo!

Answer 4

obviously it would be a kidz song

Answer 5

i could see little kids singing this:)

Answer 6

lol thanks

Answer 7

I like it.. but it doesn't seem to flow very well.

<"Dont go riding in the halloween park.
Cuz its too scary, stayin out after dark,

You never know what you might see,
in the bushes all over the trees.
You never know what you might find.

Look out! Its monster time.">

Maybe make this the chorus and the chorus the verse?

<"Cause its too scary, staying out after dark">

Maybe change this line to <"It's so scary going out after dark">

In my opinion, it makes the song flow smoother.

<"In the bushes all over the trees" maybe "In the bushes, in the trees." or "In the bushes and the trees.">

Maybe revise the first paragraph of the chorus, it doesnt flow very well.

You could also add another line at the bottom of each paragraph in the chorus, that might help aswell.

Other than this, I think kids would enjoy singing this. Nice work.

Answer 8

I had a typo and it was killing me. xD

Answer 9

o lol

Answer 10

Yeah

Answer 11

thx!

Answer 12

Yep