Question

MEDALS. I'm FRENCH and I made a text for an oral presentation. Can someone help me to introduce better sentence and let me know if its good?

Answer 1

During the past 12 months, we have had the opportunity to do an internship in dentistry in China, specifically in Pekin. This rather unusual experience has enabled us to discover amazing places and amazing people.
In fact, we have chosen China as a destination for gaining experience, and see other cultures. Indeed, there is so much to see in china !. The airport was full to bursting. There were people walking in all directions, speaking Mandarin. Still, you should know that the city of Pekin has 11.5 million habitants! I admit, it’s not a lot when we compare this with the entire population of China , which is 1,351,000,000 of persons.
So, at the begigning, it was a real culture shock for us. The airport was bright, spacious and very modern. There were people everywere. To go to our apartment, which was located in downtown, we just took the express train directly into the airport. It only lasted 15 minutes. When we arrived at our apartment, two other Quebecers in the same course were waiting for us. The apartment was very small, but clean, and our two colocs were very sympathic. However, a disappointing point is that it was impossible for us to connect to Wifi and communicate with our families and friends. The internet is controlled in China. You can’t go were you want, and if you want to use it, you must to have a Chinese phone number , which is difficult to obtain... Fortunately, our quebecers friends had one, so we were finally able to talk to our family… with a slow connection.
When we went for our first time at our internpellet, we were accompanied with a guide. We were cycling in scorching heat, crossing a cloud car, trucks and cyclists that were going in all directions. It was impressive to see. However, there were a lot of smog that morning. Breathing was difficult even with a mask. Even the skyscrapers that we had seen the previous day had disappeared in this thick fog. In fact, our guide told us that the pollution was a big problem in Pekin. Sometimes, the air is so unbearable than it is even advised to not leave the house. This information scared us, and we were worrying for our health, even if Pekin is not the most polluted region of China. This is a VIDEO of the situation.
The first days, we were not able to understand all were saying our colleagues. Only a small portion of them were speaking English. Fortunately, days has passed, and we accommodated ourselves with this language, that seemed less foreign. I must say that the Mandarin classes helped us a lot.
During our stay in China, we visited many places and saw the Chinese culture. In fact, we went to: The Gate of Heavenly Peace, which is probably the most interesting door to visit..We were able to climb up the door to admire the old decorations and magnificent views of Tiananmen Square. Video presentations were also present.
; The Temple of Heaven, which is a beautiful temple built in the Ming Dynasty . Symbol of the city, the Temple of Heaven is a fairly large site which was once primarily intended to pray for good harvests.
We also went to the famous Wall of China. In fact, go to Pekin without seeing the Great Wall, is like going to Paris without seeing the Eiffel Tower. This is a must and very impressive destination. Walking on the hundreds of years of history was magical.This is simply the longest ever built human edifice.
We also went to the forbidden city. It was the imperial palace for twenty-four emperors during the Ming and Qing dynasties. It was first built throughout 14 years during the reign of Emperor Chengzu in the Ming Dynasty . Ancient Chinese Astronomers believed that the Purple Star (Polaris) was in the center of heaven and the Heavenly Emperor lived in the Purple Palace. The Palace for the emperor on earth was so called the Purple City. It was forbidden to enter without special permission of the empeor. Hence its name 'The Purple Forbidden City', usually 'The Forbidden City'. Now, let’s see a video of I can tell you more longer about the places that we visited, but I must to let you see a Chinese traditional show that we particularly liked. There it is!

Answer 2

Impressive!
Bravo, bravo! :D

Answer 3

China is awesome! :D
Yes, everything there is accurate.

Answer 4

well, my english isn't too good either XD
but I'll tell ya what I think...

"During the past 12 months, we have had the opportunity to do an internship in dentistry in China, specifically in Pekin."
- perhaps find another word choice for "do" an internship
like "participated in" or something?
- (a) dentistry
- (might be just me but) "Pekin, China"

Answer 5

or just "China, specifically in Pekin" to "Pekin, China"

Answer 6

"This rather unusual experience has enabled us to discover amazing places and amazing people."
- only thing about this sentence would be that "unusual" is typically a negative word.
since you seem to be aiming for a happier tone, might want to change that? perhaps "special" or "unique" ?

Answer 7

might want to define "we" in the beginning somewhere... unless you're presenting in person?

Answer 8

I'm in a friend when I do the presentation so that's why :)

Answer 9

"In fact, we have chosen China as a destination for gaining experience, and see other cultures."
grammar -> parallelism
"gaining" so "see" should be "seeing"
tho might want to you a stronger word than "seeing"
perhaps "observing" or "witnessing"

Answer 10

"Indeed, there is so much to see in china !."
just a slight spacing and typo at the end there :)
and capitalize China

Answer 11

"The airport was full to bursting."
the analogy usually goes like "to the point of bursting"
(still sound weird to me tho)

Answer 12

I just wanted to say that there were a lot of people in this airport :)
Do you have a suggestion :)?

Answer 13

I was thinking of combining those two sentences,
"At the airport, droves of people were walking every which way, chattering among themselves in Mandarin"

Answer 14

good idea.. Thanks you for what you do :D

Answer 15

oh another thing I noticed... personally from where I'm from, I call it Beijing

Answer 16

"Still, you should know that the city of Pekin has 11.5 million habitants! I admit, it’s not a lot when we compare this with the entire population of China , which is 1,351,000,000 of persons."
to
"The city itself has more than 11.5 million inhabitants, which may seem a lot but is still nothing compared to the entire country's population of 1.351 billion."

Answer 17

Okayy :)!!

Answer 18

"So, at the begigning, it was a real culture shock for us."
When we first arrived, it was a real culture shock.

Answer 19

"The airport was bright, spacious and very modern."
grammar -> parallelism (can't add descriptor in the middle)
either "very bright, spacious and modern." (where the "very" carries through)
or just "bright, spacious and modern."

Answer 20

"To go to our apartment, which was located in downtown, we just took the express train directly into the airport. It only lasted 15 minutes."
In order to reach our apartment, which was located in the downtown, we took the airport's express train. With it's incredible speed, we arrived at our apartment in only 15 minutes.

Answer 21

"When we arrived at our apartment, two other Quebecers in the same course were waiting for us."
Upon our arrival, the two other Quebecers, who were in the same course, were already there.

Answer 22

"However, a disappointing point is that it was impossible for us to connect to Wifi and communicate with our families and friends."

disappointing point is redundant
try "a disappointing find"

Answer 23

"The internet is controlled in China. You can’t go were you want, and if you want to use it, you must to have a Chinese phone number , which is difficult to obtain..."
The Chinese government filters the internet, many websites are blocked, and even if you want to use it, you must have a Chinese phone number, which is difficult to obtain.

Answer 24

"Fortunately, our quebecers friends had one, so we were finally able to talk to our family… with a slow connection."
you capitalized "Quebecers" before, should it be capitalized here?
replace "..." with "but"

Answer 25

I didn't quite understand the meaning of
"When we went for our first time at our internship, we were accompanied with a guide."
you mean "When we ventured outside for the first time for our internship," ?

Answer 26

oh and something that I'm not good at, but I noticed.
there's some tense issues, like stick with either present or past. you're switching back and fourth... I have that sort of problem myself, so I don't know how to help with it...

Answer 27

"We were cycling in scorching heat, crossing a cloud car, trucks and cyclists that were going in all directions."
We were cycling in the scorching heat, crossing loud cars, truck, and other cyclists who were all going in all different directions.

Answer 28

"However, there were a lot of smog that morning."
misuse of "were" change it to "was"

Answer 29

"Even the skyscrapers that we had seen the previous day had disappeared in this thick fog. "
"disappeared into the thick fog"

Answer 30

"This information scared us, and we were worrying for our health, even if Pekin is not the most polluted region of China."
grammar -> parallelism
"scared" is past tense so "worrying" should be past tense...
"and we worried for our health,"

Answer 31

I'm not quite sure what you meant by
"This is a VIDEO of the situation."
perhaps
"So the pollution we experienced was only a glimpse of the situation"

Answer 32

Because , in my presentation, at this moment , i will show a video related to this situation :)

Answer 33

Seriously you save my life haha!

Answer 34

ohhh okay :)
and lol XD I've been to Peking like 7 times :P
whenever I come back to US I'm like OXYGEN :D

Answer 35

"The first days, we were not able to understand all were saying our colleagues. "
inverted english XD
"we were not able to understand all that our colleagues were saying."

Answer 36

"Fortunately, days has passed, and we accommodated ourselves with this language, that seemed less foreign."
Fortunately, as days passed, we accommodated ourselves to this language, and it became less foreign.

Answer 37

"During our stay in China, we visited many places and saw the Chinese culture."
can't say "saw the Chinese culture" because it is not a tangible thing to see.
could say "saw for ourselves what Chinese culture was really like"

Answer 38

"The Gate of Heavenly Peace, which is probably the most interesting door to visit..We were able to climb up the door to admire the old decorations and magnificent views of Tiananmen Square."
"We were able to climb up to the door to admire the antique decorations "

Answer 39

"We also went to the forbidden city."
should "forbidden city" be capitalized?

Answer 40

Maybe yes :o

Answer 41

"It was forbidden to enter without special permission of the empeor."
without the special permission from the emperor

Answer 42

"Hence its name 'The Purple Forbidden City', usually 'The Forbidden City'."
"usually" to "more commonly known as"

Answer 43

"Now, let’s see a video of I can tell you more longer about the places that we visited, but I must to let you see a Chinese traditional show that we particularly liked. There it is!"
- a video so that I may tell you more
- but first I must show you a
- Here it is!

Answer 44

mmm I might have left out some stuff, but I hope this helped :)

Answer 45

This helped a lot seriously!!! Thank you so much !!

Answer 46

:)

Answer 47

glad I could help ^_^
XD lol Chinese helping a French with English...
what has the world come to :P

Answer 48

Ohh your'e chinese :) that's cooler then :D

Answer 49

indeed XD
I'm a failure as a Chinese, but my English is as bad as one :P
I haven't visited China in a while, tho I really miss the roast duck <3

Answer 50

Oh I see :)

Answer 51

well, good luck with your oral presentation! :)

Answer 52

yes , I will let you know the feedback :) its friday!!