Question

Look over my article please!

Answer 1

06.02
By: Cydney Whitley

Prompt: Imagine you are one of the factory workers at Lowell Mills tasked with creating the headline story for this month’s factory newspaper.


If you have ever wondered what Hell was like, then try working at Lowell Mills factory for a week. Conditions are awful here! Everything is a cluttered mess, and it is ear shattering when all the machines are running at once. The machines admit toxic fumes and dust into the air, normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but the factory has very little light or ventilation. Sometimes is we are fortunate, we can open up the windows, but that is not often. The machines also have lots of safety issues; this makes it extremely dangerous for the small children who are told to crawl into the small spaces that us normal adults cannot fit in to.

We are forced to work 12 and 16 - hour days 6 days a week, and if we try to argue or say we don’t like it, they can easily replace us. We are lucky when we get a break, but when we do they only last 15 or 20 minutes.

The effects these conditions have had on me and the other women here are extreme. Because of our long work hours, we experience serious exhaustion and dehydration. Also, because of the fumes, a lot of us die from lung cancer.

As you can see, working in a factory during the industrial revolution is hard work, but we will do anything to support our families, even if it means risking our lives everyday.


~ BUT WAIT, THINGS DID GET BETTER!!~
(Not part of the article this is just extra research)


Factory Act 1819 Limited the hours worked by children to a maximum of 12 per day.

Factory Act 1833 Children under 9 banned from working in the textiles industry and 10-13 year olds limited to a 48 hour week.

Factory Act 1844 Maximum of 12 hours work per day for Women.

Factory Act 1847 Maximum of 10 hours work per day for Women and children.

Factory Act 1850 Increased hours worked by Women and children to 10 and a half hours a day, but not allowed to work before 6am or after 6pm.

Factory Act 1874 No worker allowed to work more than 56.5 hours per week


Sources http://www.schoolshistory.org.uk/IndustrialRevolution/workingconditions.htm#.U3rKG61dWSM

Flvs History Lesson 06.02

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091209145520AAACsOy

Answer 2

@jim_thompson5910

Answer 3

Here is it in word:

Answer 4

Please tell me how to fix it! ( It's bound to have some mistakes Its 1:30 in the morning )

Answer 5

Here is the grading rubric if that helps:

Answer 6

change

"The machines admit toxic fumes and dust into the air"

to

"The machines emit toxic fumes and dust into the air"

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I would turn

"The machines admit toxic fumes and dust into the air, normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but the factory has very little light or ventilation"

into

"The machines admit toxic fumes and dust into the air. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but the factory has very little light or ventilation"

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The sentence "Sometimes is we are fortunate, we can open up the windows, but that is not often" is a bit awkward. I'm not sure what you meant to say here.

Answer 7

oops, meant to have emit

but hopefully you get the idea

Answer 8

OMG 'is we fortunate' XD XD so ghetto, haha, like I said its 1:30 am.

Answer 9

lol that's fine

Answer 10

I guess you could write that bit as

"Sometimes we are fortunate: we can open up the windows, but that is not often"

Answer 11

So is that all? Do you think it is at least B worthy?

Answer 12

Ooh, thats a good idea, I'll change that.

Answer 13

yeah I think it's good and that's all I could find

Answer 14

I know I'm asking alot.. but can you 'grade' it useing the grading rubric thingy?

Answer 15

description of the working conditions in the factory

looks like you got that down pretty much

Answer 16

description of the daily life of a worker

you have the working part of their lives down. Maybe include the nonworking part of their day as well

Answer 17

Thats a good idea! But it was not much better, they would go home to filth, because they often times could not afford much.

Answer 18

and possibly went home hungry due to poor wages

Answer 19

explanation of the effects on women

you have a brief description on how it's awful for women to work there, but it's only a sentence or so long. However, the overall conditions affected both men and women, so I guess that covers it

Answer 20

All right, I'll make some changes and turn it in, then I gotta go to sleep. Thanks Jim! You really ARE the best, I'm not even kidding. If people are not fanned to you, then I dont even know why they are on Open study.

Answer 21

glad to be of help, again I'd seek out a second opinion

Answer 22

^-^ will do!