Question

I really want someone's opinion on a story I'm working on

Answer 1

Just tell me what you think of the first chapter, i give medals

Answer 2

@eatmypants69 can you check it out and give me your opinion?

Answer 3

I will read it :)

Answer 4

Thanks :)

Answer 5

I read the first chapter I thought It was good but if you included more of the character's personality it would be better because your topic is about heartless yet you included what the character has been through not has done which considered them heartless

Answer 6

Okay, thanks :)

Answer 7

Honestly?? I love stories like this because the more you read the more you say "and then what??". You don't need to throw in a characters personality but just make sure that the reader gets to know who this character is.,,, though out the reading. I love it! I love how you throw in Spanish, makes it more real. It's amazing! Keep going :-)

Answer 8

The girl on top is right .ive noticed how you also mentioned that if someone took a deep look at the character they would realize that she's not heartless. Yet at the end of chapter 1 you say that she's heartless and that's a fact. That confused me a bit but I also understood that she may show herself as heartless but she isn't really. Just make that a bit more clear . :-)

Answer 9

Thanks :)

Answer 10

I just wanted to let you know that i wouldnt have random people read your story unless you copywrited it. I put my stuff on wattpad so i can get feedback and at the same time its copywritted. I would just hate for people to steal your work, because thats one of my fears

Answer 11

Thats true... thanks for the tip :)

Answer 12

no problem but try wattpad My username is PositivelyDyslexic! i would love to see you on there and that way its a safer way of sharing

Answer 13

Okay :)

Answer 14

I agree with everyone up there ^ Also I love the first paragraph of the first chapter where you describe her, reminds me a lot of my friend she is Puerto Rican and 16! lol but anyway awesome job, keep working hard (:

Answer 15

Thank you :) =^.^=

Answer 16

No problem (: