Question

can someone revises my paper please
i will give medals and fans

Answer 1

I think humans are ignorant to the fact that they are also animals. In societies around the world
experimenting on innocent animals ,that includes humans is unacceptable and opposed .
Although medical testing on animal is opposed it still conducted by scientist. Its proven that
animals endure horrific events,also some of the medicines are approved for human through
medical testing on animal an as a result infants and elderly people were harmed. This issue is
also effect the country buying caring to all the needs of the animals them delve plus buying the
animals definitely runs up quite a bill.
During the process of the medical testing animal do endure quite a few things ,According to
Human Society International, the animals used in experiments are commonly force fed and
forced to inhale the drugs being tested , not given the correct amount of nutrients to survive,
long periods of physical restraint, being burned and different wound to observe the healing
process , inflicting pain to study it effect and cures , and murder by carbon dioxide
asphyxiation ,neck snapping , beheading, or other methods . An example of this type of horrid
experiment was the Draize eye test , this test included stocks of rabbits having there eyelids
held open with clips , sometimes for multiple days. a common test conduct lethal dose 50 test
involves observing which dose of chemical will kill 50% percent of animals being used in the
experiment. The US Department of Agriculture concluded in 2010 that 1,395 primates , 5,996
rabbits, 33,652 guinea pigs , and 48,015 hamster suffered pain during the experiments and not
given anesthesia for relief , thats a total of 97,123 animal that suffered a horrible fate de to
humans.
Not only are we hurting innocent creature we are harming our on species as well. Some of the
medicines that past animal testing proved to be unsafe. An example of a medicine in these
category include a sleeping pill called thalidomide made in the 1950s this medicine passed
animal testing before human consumption but caused10,000 babies to be born with severe
deformities ,also a medicine called Vioxx tested safe on animals caused 27,000heart attacks
and sudden cardiac deaths .
These experiments cost us lives and also money animal testing cost lots of money , because
the animals must be fed , given housing , cared for, and treated with drugs . Animal testing may
occur more than once and over the months which means just as the animals and eqectment
were multiplied the cost was to .
As my research concludes, animal testing is a inhumane act as it puts animals through a painful
test. humans are also effected in the process , by medicine past animal testing and turned out to
be harmful to humans. and last but not least it cost large sums of money . If these resenting acts
do not stop animal , our people , and our taxes will suffer .

Answer 2

@yowzaman

Answer 3

@WhisperZ

Answer 4

@KlOwNlOvE

Answer 5

Gimme 2 minutes

Answer 6

@quickstudent

Answer 7

@xstreetprowl

Answer 8

@ObeySoph▲

Answer 9

There are some corrections that need to be made. I'll tell you what they are.

Answer 10

Just a moment, I have to do something right now. I'll get back and tell you the corrections right when I'm done.

Answer 11

thank you @quickstudent

Answer 12

I will right the things that need corrections in all capital letters. So, the first correction is here: I think humans are ignorant TO the fact that they are also animals.

Should be: I think humans are ignorant of the fact that they are also animals.

Answer 13

Here is the next correction: In societies around the world experimenting on innocent animals ,that includes humans is unacceptable and opposed .

The words here are correct, but you need to add some punctuation. It should be like this:

In societies around the world, experimenting on innocent animals(including humans) is unacceptable and opposed.

Answer 14

Now look at this one: Although medical testing on animal is opposed it still conducted by scientist.

Here is how it should be: Although medical testing on animals is opposed, it is still conducted by scientists.

Answer 15

okay thanks

Answer 16

Next: ITS proven that animals endure horrific events,also some of the medicines are approved for HUMAN through medical testing on ANIMAL AN as a result infants and elderly people WERE harmed.

I suggest you make this into two sentences.

Should be: It's proven that animals endure horrific events. Also, some medicines are approved for humans through medical testing on animals, and as a result, infants and elderly people are harmed.

Answer 17

You also need to state why infants and elderly are harmed.

Answer 18

LIke how it hurts them.

Answer 19

*Like

Answer 20

please explain your correction

Answer 21

you wrote its, but you should have written it's, because its means that that something belongs to it, but it's is a contraction for it is.

Answer 22

Avoid using "I think", "in my opinion" since that makes your claim seems weak.
Just say "Humans are ignorant to the facts that they are also animals."

Answer 23

Yes, @study100 is right. I also recommend you cite your sources for where you got your information, so it doesn't just look like your own opinion.

Answer 24

I agree with @quickstudent :))

Answer 25

You have to make a lot of grammatical corrections, change some of your word choices, and group the sentences in paragraphs.

Answer 26

ok

Answer 27

After doing these things, you might see that you have to add a couple more sentences at the beginnings and ends of some paragraphs to make the essay more flowing.

Answer 28

@quickstudent @bunnyfoofoo1216 can go to this google doc I made to revise and make comments :) easier that way
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yc2It_2mhzU706amYZyeaMuG24wJ0ZZi0UyJt1tTluI/edit?usp=sharing

Answer 29

edited the doc, @bunnyfoofoo1216 I'll help you with that google doc

Answer 30

so view it

Answer 31

@study100 , don't you think there should be some grammatical corrections in there?

Answer 32

@quickstudent oh I just OCRed her writing and put it there. I haven't corrected the other sentences except taking away "I think". Heading over right away :))