Question

Can someone please critique my college essay(:

Answer 1

You can post it here.. :)

Answer 2

@waterineyes

Answer 3

Sister has two diseases, again it is plural..

which DISABLES?? I think it should be 'disable'..

Answer 4

In 8th line, "She isn't able go" ??

It must be, "She isn't able 'to' go..............

Answer 5

In 11th line, I 'have always maintained good grades", I think you are still in the present, so 'have' should be used there..

Answer 6

What you say?? :)

Answer 7

One more, when we are supposing something, we use were there like:

If I were the President of America, I would have been.................... Right??

Answer 8

It is just for information.. :)

Answer 9

You there??

Answer 10

You have not used "have" there..

In my opinion, you should write : I have always maintained..

Or, if you are writing : I always maintain, then in the first line you should change, Even though I would spend: here take out would..

So, finally the sentence will read as:

Even though, I spend ......................., I always maintain.......But it is not looking nice to me..

In my opinion :

Even though, I would spend, I have always maintained......................