Dear OS'ers,

Can someone cast a critical eye on the structure alone of the following paragraph? Specifically, I am wondering if the semicolon is used correctly.

"In Spielberg's 1993 rendition, our protagonist employs Polish Jews -- then living in the Krakow Ghetto -- for their extremely low legal "value"; wages were, in reflection of the Jews' legal status, paid as a fee to the state."

Any and all help is greatly appreciated! :)

Question

Dear OS'ers,

Can someone cast a critical eye on the structure alone of the following paragraph? Specifically, I am wondering if the semicolon is used correctly.

"In Spielberg's 1993 rendition, our protagonist employs Polish Jews -- then living in the Krakow Ghetto -- for their extremely low legal "value"; wages were, in reflection of the Jews' legal status, paid as a fee to the state."
 
Any and all help is greatly appreciated! :)

anonymous · Answer

can't read it properly, i refreshed the browser twice :/

amonoconnor · Answer

Aye, it is now looking like that on my screen- I'm going to fix it!

amonoconnor · Answer

Try now! Is it better? :/

anonymous · Answer

yeah :)

amonoconnor · Answer

Does that makes sense to you?

anonymous · Answer

well i'm still trying to analyze it.. esp. the use of the use of the semicolon. if it makes sense to me, i'll tell you.. just give me a moment

amonoconnor · Answer

;) Thank you!

anonymous · Answer

hmm.. now i understand better. did you do this paragraph ? 

semicolon is usually used when you want to show the readers about the relationship between two clauses.
'for their extremely low legal "value"; wages were, in reflection of the Jews' legal status, paid as a fee to the state'

so if we will look at this part, i think it make sense .. value refers to status which is mentioned on the second clause
that's what i think 
what do you think?

amonoconnor · Answer

Yes, I wrote it. It's from an in-process analytical essay I'm writing on "Schindler's List", in contrast to the actual Oskar Schindler, and the Holocaust. 
I think what you said makes sense, and I would agree!

anonymous · Answer

i think it's a great structure so far :)
what else do you need to do with it?

amonoconnor · Answer

Are you asking if I see a mistake that you do? To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with it- what needs changed?

anonymous · Answer

can i ask a question about your paragraph?  " then living in the Krakow Ghetto" is talking about the protagonist or the polish jews? from what i understand it is referring to the protagonist right?

amonoconnor · Answer

oh, sorry, it IS meant to refer to the Polish jews.

anonymous · Answer

so i think, that's the part you have to fix a little bit otherwise everything's fine

amonoconnor · Answer

Wonderful, thank you oh so very much! :) Your comments have definitely helped.

anonymous · Answer

np