Question

drowning

A cold sharp razor

touching soft pale skin

I breaks it. Pooling blood

Like a volcano slowly erupting

Red and brow stains the pale

The pale smooth skin

It stains my hands and thigh

I keep going deeper and deeper

Relief washes over my body

The thoughts slowly disappearing

Its like I can breathe again

I take a gulp of fresh air

It fills my lungs

As if I am no longer drowning

Answer 1

What do you think? @robtobey @RavenInNeverland @tester97 @triciaal @thadyoung @thadyoung @TheSaint905621 @this_emo_chic1023 @Tuta @Preetha @punksauce @piercetheveil47 @pandagirl811 @PlanSlam @AngelPSP @Algorithmic @alyssa_fields50 @abigailsimmons @aspenquincey12 @Andraste @sammixboo @ShadowLegendX @sweetburger @scburchell11 @shubham1 @ShifTnatural @Firejay5 @ganeshie8 @gerryliyana

Answer 2

it's amazing

Answer 3

Thanks :D

Answer 4

I don't truly get the meaning, but its very good :)

Answer 5

Hello,

I believe your poem is minimal, and lacks and vivid explanation into the raven's thought. Quite generic as well, starting with the use of a razor to convey cutting to expression.

Peace.

Answer 6

Thanks for the input guys, I really appreciate it! @sweetburger @Algorithmic

Answer 7

It was interesting... the figurative language was a little too vague for my taste and the poem didn't seem to have a clear meaning. I think with a little work it could turn out quite nice though :) good job \(\color{lime}{\Huge\ddot\smile}\)

Answer 8

Thank you! @SydtheKid913

Answer 9

:) always an honor

Answer 10

The meaning of this poem is not that clear but I do think that it is lovely overall. Needless to say, i like it.

Answer 11

A few grammar issues, but I don't care about that; it has a lot of description; but I don't quite understand what it's suppose to mean

Answer 12

Not too bad. :)