How can I make my thesis statement better? Right now it is "During the Industrial Revolution, the life expectancy was so low because of poor working conditions, living conditions, and family life. Only after these issues were addressed did society begin to change in a positive way." Any tips on how to improve it?

Question

ironhide · Answer

It seems pretty good to me. It previews what will be in the body paragraphs and it will be easy to go back to in the conclusion.

ashleyisakitty · Answer

It's long for a thesis statement. Make it more simple by editing to something like "During the Industrial Revolution, life expectancy was low due to lack of proper health care in urban areas".

ironhide · Answer

Thesis statements can be anywhere from a sentence to a paragraph.